March 22nd, 2009 at 01:39pm
Kudos to you for making a great oneshot out of a difficult prompt like this. And I'm loving the link text to the oneshot. Oui. It made me giggle. :tehe: And pfft I dunno why nobody else has commented. You should be proud of this, it's very good.
Just so you know, my knowledge of MCR and Frerard is very, very limited, but I shall try my very best to review appropriately. I believe that if the writer is good, then you should read their work. Names shouldn't matter.
I like the ambiguity of Mikey's words. He'll sort you out. I'm really not sure whether Frank really likes Gerard, or whether he's just really scared of him. I like that this isn't clarified because it leaves things open and I like deciding certain aspects of stories myself. So yeah. I really liked that you did that. I've gone down the route of Gerard being intimidating towards Frank. :tehe:
"I once read… that Gerard is French for ‘huge dick." Yeah, really classy, Gerard. He wants to freak Frank out, and he does this well. Frank seems shocked that Gerard would say something like, and I think this makes him feel a little awkward with him, which is why he gets all defensive towards Gerard, and snaps at him, asking why his parents named him Gerard if that was the case. I don't think Frank knows quite how to act around Gerard, in all honesty. :think:
He smelt strange, not necessarily unpleasant, but not a nice enough smell to make me want to get close to him. This sentence explains quite a lot. Frank is a little unsure of his feelings for Gerard, and Gerard just confuses him no-end. I think this is quite significant to the oneshot, in my opinion.
I liked how Frank seemed to be the teacher, rather than Gerard. “That’s lunch,” I muttered, giving him a filthy look. It's almost like Frank wants Gerard to get stuff wrong, so that he can just leave and never come back. But at the same time he's worried about this test so he knows he has to sweat it out, in case he does learn something.
The way the oneshot ended was really great, with Frank running away, and Gerard's one-word final line. Touche. It really fit well with the story.
This was really great. You pwn at writing. Sorry this feedback wasn't amazing. :arms:
You certainly have a way with words, this is wonderful, what a great situation for Frank and Gerard to be in?! Bless Mikey laughing from his bedroom. Oh and I love how Gerard is described as something akin to the class clown, that’s something I don’t think I’ve ever read him as before.
Just one question though *feels immensely stupid*, does Gerard really mean huge dick in French? :tehe: