Like a Painting. - Comments

this story is really beautiful.
i love it and judging by this one shot, you seem to be an amazing writer.

When Shakespeare said that love is blind and lovers can’t see, he was lying. The first time I met Joe, I was smitten. He was all I could see.

I especially loved that part, and I could feel the raw emotion throughout this

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So since you claimed my story to review in the thread, I found it in bad taste to post right after yours and ask for another review on the same fanfic that I planned on having review, but for some reason, I wanted to read your fic anyway. I guess it just seemed fair to me. My mind works a bit oddly sometimes.

Anyway, coming into this fanfic, I had low expectations, because I am not a Jonas fan. Being an old school MCR fan, I bought into the prejudice that all Jonas fans are thirteen years old, yuppie and swoon without question over the three of them. You've completely shattered my theory on that.

Not only was this not the typical fan-girlish bull-crap that i would have expected from a Jonas story, but compared to other one-shots that I've read on other subjects, it's amazing. One of the best that I've seen so far.

Plain and simple, you have talent, and I really enjoyed this. You didn't do what most fanfic authors do and focus on some sappy relationship with rainbows and butterflies, you took the actual dynamics of a relationship and laid them out in a realistic way. I could definitely relate to the last relationship that I was in with this story. Hating something about the person so much like that, then still being there and living with it. It's hard to explain, but there's something so real about this story.

Thank you for proving me wrong about Jonas Brother's fans and exposing me to a great one-shot. This was really good.

I really wish I had guts like yours. I've written a Jonas fic before but I'm a pussy (and it wasn't very good) so I never posted it.
I've wanted to read quality Jonas for... ever, and I don't think I've ever found one to fit my fancy.
Then I got to this.
Oh, Zero, it was completely gorgeous. I love Joe's character, he's so... I don't know how to describe it. It was almost like he was bordering on indifference, but you could tell he really cared - not about his appearance, but about the girl.

I can feel the static feeling in my spine.
Static feeling, that's beautiful.

I honestly think you are one of the most talented writers on this site. One of my favorites by far.

Zerobaby- I don't see why you didn't want me to read this! It was wonderful. You're so talented.

Joe got me a job as a photographer for their concerts. I like how you started. It really catches the attention of the reader right away making them wonder who 'me' is.

He even admits it. I hate this part of him. I think this sentence really shows how the main character doesn't idolize him like everyone else. I like it.

What I really love is how by the middle point of the story you still haven't exactly told us who 'me' is. And in some stories that can be a pain but you did it in a way where it was a mystery and an attention grabber. Good job, zeorlove.

In the end I likes how he kissed by her ear. Most stories overuse the lips. There are other places to kiss and you wrote that very well.

Zero you capture moments in stories like memories like they really happened. And that makes you very talented. It was adorable, love.

One Shot for One Shot:

This was really sweet. The character has a distinct voice. And the uneasiness is built up well by the little things you mention and the little things they do. It’s almost subtle in a way, but there’s still the sense that there’s something amiss in their relationship and how they’re interacting; their communication feels strained as if it’s difficult for them just to talk. I mean, something as simple as him shaving off his facial hair is made to seem monumental, you know? I feel it makes their relationship realistic.

And the fact that the female character feels unnoticed and ‘in the back’ of Joe’s life and of his mind...it shows that celebrity and fame does take out of your personal life and can test relationships. But the ending was sweet. I like that he just knew; it showed that they were really in tune with each other and how the other felt about it.

There are places where you switched tenses though. You meant for the story to be in present tense, correct? Like in this sentence, it should be ‘runs’ instead of ‘ran.’ Joe’s in the bathroom, the loud buzz of the electric razor is muffled as it ran across his face.

I know this part was the short description, but I really like it. It’s poetic. Like a painting. Like a movie. It feels like we’re the only two people in the street. Then suddenly, it means nothing unless it mean touching him, too. There’s a typo though, I thought I should just mention. it means touching him too.

I'm not a Jonas Brothers fan, but this was nice...like a moment in time.

Amazing, truly amazing.
Well done. xo

A Joe Jonas one-shot.
1, 305 words long.

A moment in time.
Enjoy. <33