I really like this. I hope that you continue this story, though I see it has been a while. The only thing I would suggest is to change the title and make it something shorter.
Nicely written.
Thank you! Haha, well I wasn't really planning on making it a real[/]i story, but I've got some more written on it so maybe I'll post it. And I really have no clue what to call it...Any ideas?
I really like this. I hope that you continue this story, though I see it has been a while. The only thing I would suggest is to change the title and make it something shorter.