Jenny Was a Friend of Mine - Comments

love it,keep going

oh, my, god. i love this story.
:

<3
jenny and taylor make me so happy.
andrew, i could just kill him.
hmm, more please?
i crave more.

Story/Review Game

Okay, I don't like to start off on a bad note, but I just want to get this out there. I felt that some of the descriptions you used, specifically in the first chapter, were sort of generic, in a way. Such as "amber-flecked sea green eyes." This isn't terrible, but it could use some work by spicing it up a bit.

kiss, a caress, or a whisper.
I liked this tidbit. Something about the line up of words you used.:)

In chapter two, I love and dislike the part where you repeat Jenny's name. I think it's repetitive, kind of offputting, but I also adore it. It's lovely, really. I liked how you described what reminded her of Jenny or the other way around.

Her hair curled softly at her ears down, and she tilted her head. My eyes followed the contours of her body to the darker shadow between her legs.
I loved how you described this part. It was great, a good use of words. :D

I also liked that in the second chapter you increased the amount of detail, because I felt it was lacking that in the first chapter. Although, in some parts, I felt as if you were over describing nonrelevant things. Like, going into really, really deep detail. But that certainly wasn't the case in other parts.

Some of the dialect, I found was rather stiff. Which, I can really understand, because I find it challenging to write dialogue. However, in some parts, it was better worded.

I read up until chapter 6, at which I decided I had read enough to determine a stance on the story and be able to give adequate help/advice.

Overall, I felt that there was certainly room for tweaking and editing, but it had good grammar and spelling as far as I can see. I didn't really know where you were going with this story, it seemed kind of indecisive..However, your use of certain phrases and wording is great. I'm pretty sure that this will continue to grow and get better as it progresses.

Bravo

Bravo

This is awesome.
:D I love it so much :D

PLEASE FINISH IT. I love this one more than the "Amy' story. you've got to finish it. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?

Really good chapters, I think you might be going a bit fast, perhaps you could have dragged it all out a bit more?
other than that it was really good, more soon, oui?
-subscribes-
and chapter 7 was so tragic

Oh this was so touching. You did a stunning job. Chapter 14 soon?

love it, update soon =]]

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! THIS IS SO GOOD! AND I DONT TALK IN ALL CAPS FOR JUST ANYONE! -next update please

holy cow. loved it. great writing style. im so excited.

amazing. awesome. i love it. thank you for the shower scene:}

Well, just keep reading, tell all your friends, and you'll get more action =D

AGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shower scene! yay! its so sad. i wanted them to happy together. aww. stupid men. haha. i loved it. well written. with emotion. great. loved it.

loved the udpate!!! I look forward to more ^^

I'm definitely going to be updating soon. =]] Like, tomorrow.

:( So sad....But awsome XD Updates will ROCK ^^

i love....this story.....I WANT THEM TO GET TOGETHERRRR lolll. Please update soon ^^

Mmkay, I sure will. I've got some ideas. If yall ever want to give me suggestions or something, it's welcome =]