When i read this, my eyes bulged. Main reason; the word "fanny" in my country means "pussy" and i was sat their shocked, thinking why he would smack your pussy, haha. Dude, i'm weird. I like it! =]
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- He grinned, laying a good, hard spank to my fanny.
DUDE!! I could not stop laughing when i read this. This is the type of shit i come out with when i'm drunk, taking the piss out of my mate with her boyfriend. Lmfao!! Just reading it again as i write this is making me nearly piss myself.
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- “Oh, he has fishies,” Sarah grinned, knitting her hands together and laughing an evil, ‘Muhahahaha’ laugh. “My bitch just doesn’t have many!”
“I love how he’s you’re bitch,” I shook my head, holding my stomach and giggling loudly. “Do you whip em good?”
“Whip em good?” Nita asked, frowning and raising her eyebrow at me. “What the hell does that mean?”
“You know, Johnny’s Sarah’s bitch and she’s his mistress.” I cracked a grin, clapping my hands together. “You know, like dominatrix shit! She’s gotta get dressed up in spandex and leather and fishnets and have her long, kinky whip and hit him with it!” I rubbed my belly, knitting my fingers together over the center. “You know, like across the back and the chest and dripping candle wax and all that shit. And he’s moaning the entire time and screaming “Sarah! Fuck! More!” And she goes “Bitch! What’s my name!?” Then she tweaks his nipples as he groans and screams out in pure ecstasy “Mistress! Mistress SJ! Bite it!” And then she grins and bites it and makes his hot dog squirt mustard.” I nodded, giving her a thumbs up. “Good job babe, that’s exactly what these boys need. We gotta show em that the girls rule the sack and their just little pawns in our itty bitty game.”
You've now made me want to watch beetlejuice because of that. And i haven't got it on DVD =[ Still, funny as fuck. Of all things, Beetlejuice, haha. Great touch.
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- Ahh, rapist! Racoon! Beetlejuice!
Soon as i read that bit, dirty images were running through my mind. I'm so perverted, but i don't care. Johnny and J-Dog, well... i better not go into detail. I would do a lot of nasty stuff. Heh heh/
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- Johnny, Charlie, Jay, and Dillon were crowded around each other, their privates practically touching as they stood there awkwardly. Johnny had a bar of soap in his hand, but there was only soap on Jorel’s chest.
Dude, once i read that, i had to re-read to make sure that i read that right.
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- “You’re so nasty,” I giggled, biting my bottom lip to keep a moan from escaping. “And I love you and I absolutely love this. But I gotta pee so badly and I’m not into that kinky shit where the chick pees on the dude and then the dude pees in the chick.”
“Ugh,” He groaned, pulling out of me and rolling onto the other side of the bed. “Now I’m definitely not getting it up again.”
This was by far my favorite part of the chapter. I was laughing before, but soon as i read this, i had tears streaming down my face. I honestly thought that they weren't going to stop, espeically when Charlie says bald pussy! I can imagine him with a perverted smug grin on his face. Something that a pedo would smile like. I'm still laughing just writing this.
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- Now, I’m pretty fucking paranoid, especially when things are in a good mood. So when the shower curtain moved slightly, I just about croaked over. I stood there still and as quiet as possibly, watching as it yet again moved.
And I’m telling you, no fucking wind did that.
First of all, there’s no window. Secondly, there’s no wind.
So what the fuck was in my shower?!
As it moved again, this time something actually falling from inside of the tub, probably a shampoo bottle or something, I screamed my head off.
“DILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLON!” I screeched, squeezing my legs together and wiggling back and forth. “DILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!”
“What!?” He yelled, running into the bathroom as he tried to pull a pair of boxers over his hips. “What the fuck, Autumn?”
“Whoa,” Sarah said, standing behind Dillon in the doorway, Johnny’s large frame filling up the space beside her.
Nita and Jay were behind them, looking in like they were watching a spectacle at a carnival.
“GET IT!” I yelled, pointing at the shower curtain and jumping up and down in a frightened idiocy.
“What the fuck?” Dillon asked as he ripped the shower curtain back, the thick plastic ripping at a few of the seams.
Charlie and Taylor were laid out in the bathtub, in a very compromising position. Both were absolutely and undeniably naked, their hips pressed into each other’s as they sat on top of one another awkwardly.
“You’ve been in there the entire time?!” I screeched, staring at the two of them wide eyed. “Oh, my God! Charlie! Are you handcuffed!?”
Indeed, he was. To the handlebar on the side of the tub, his arm stretched up about an four inches from the rest of his body to reach.
“Bald pussy,” Was all he said, his hand gripping Taylor’s hip as his eyes stared at my crotch area.
I looked down, realizing that I still had Dillon’s shirt held on my stomach, the entire lower half of my body exposed to everyone in the room. I dropped the shirt quickly, a deep blush plastering across my cheeks.
Well... i basically loved this part, obviously. Main reason; i know how to control my bitch, mwahahaha!!!
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- “Sweet! Free porn.” Johnny grinned, rubbing his hands together and watching his friend fuck his new girl, only to get slapped upside the head as Sarah glared at him and waltzed out of the room. “Ah, shit.” He ran after her, her voice shrilling screeching as he picked her up and carried her back to their room.
I loved the update though dear. It made me smile! More soon! :D