Kristopher - Comments

It's been such a long time and I love this story to pieces.

When will the next update be?

I found this and I am so totally glad I did. This story made my day even better. You made Adam and Kris just how they probably would act. You are an amazing writer too! Update soon, please?

“See, you don't want to stir too fast or too hard. You'll have hard muffins.”

That made my day. :)

I am liking this posative, less hateful side of Kris. And muffins...yum!

I swear to God, if you don't update, I'm going to eat your first born child!

I'm serious. ;)

I just finished chapter six...and I love this. The internal conflict Kris has with Adam is great. Can't wait to see where this goes!

I really love this.

Update soon?

I really like this! :D
I've never read a Kradam before, but I do like it!

Mhm..well I liked it.

I liked how it you have it written. And how you say things and how the sentences are rearranged. :)

CHAPTER FIVE BABY ~~

:tehe:

His friends were alien to him, his acquaintances almost non-existent to him. He doesn't understand, he can't understand, he mustn't' understand.
He isn't like any of them. He doesn't relate to any of them. He doesn't know them.

This part. THIS PART. Everything just fits in perfectly. GAH I DUNNO HOW TO EXPRESS IT, IT JUST FLOWED SO WELL.. :twitch: But a minor error there, it should be mustn't.

makes his knickers get in a twist.

I thought this term was only applied on females but I guess Allen Boy's exceptional. :lmfao

And, after that, everything goes back to normal

I think the comma should be after after that,.

the aliens in front with the dog trailing behind

Teehee I smiled at this sentence. Cause it was so easy to point out who's who. :tehe:

he shares it with that Lambert boy

:weird :weird :weird

BWAHAHA I WONDER WHERE YOU GOT THAT NAME FROM. :lmfao

Is it that hard to think of a simple answer to a simple question?

He's thinking right here, right? I think it should be in Italics.

He starts to realize that maybe he's the alien and they're the dogs, and maybe he doesn't fit in the equation.

I lovelovelove this part. Good description.

He starts to wonder if God's laughing at him. He grins, a wiry and worn out grin, but a grin nevertheless, Hah, so this is why I'm here, huh, big guy? And, he suddenly becomes aware of the knots in his stomach, the saliva in his throat. He feels anger and pain all at once and he can't help but cry.

omgno:

Allen Boy laughed along with God cause he thought it was some kind of joke, but when he realizes it wasn't reality just slapped him in the face. :arms:

He can't help it; he makes a choking noise, as if he isn't breathing anymore. His eyes become red from crying and his nose starts to run.

:omfg: I COULD TOTALLY PICTURE THIS SCENE!

-
OMG TASHAAAA. Your words. Your imagination. THEY'RE JUST <3333.
AND YOU DED'D THIS CHAPTER TO ME! :arms: :arms:

I wanna post another Kradam lovin for you but I'm worried if I get caught or something. :shifty

I had chocolate milk while reading this.:tehe: The combination made me all fuzzy and warm inside. I'll pm you after this.

Again, amazing work love.

LUFF LUFF YOU. :arms:

:weird WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SMILEY ABUSE :twitch:

CHAPTER FOUR

He hurts others, his friends, his ma and pa, his Katy, even his dog. And for what? Nothing, that's what, he doesn't know why and he's not exactly sure he cares enough to know why.

omgno:

Poor Allen Boy. I love how you're able to describe him feeling so messed up yet looking calm and quiet on the outside.

Teeth nibble tongue and hands smooth down pants.

It actually sounds nice when you say it out loud. :shifty

:lmfao

But I think it should be Teeth nibbling his tongue and hands smothering down his pants.

:cheese: THIS CHAPTER IS PERFECT! :crazy:

A few slight mistakes but the rest was . I don't even know how to describe it, it's just...so deep, and readers just couldn't help but to feel sorry for him. Kris is confused and frustrated, and he felt that nobody understands him so he decides to hate Adam just so he could pour all his anger and hatred at him.

This story is getting better and better. I'm excited for the next update. :crazy:
But i want you to take your time writing, don't mean to rush you or anything. :shifty
I can't believe you've written this in like, ten minutes! :cheese: HOLY CRAP!

...AND YOU DED'D THIS CHAPTER TO ME!

:arms: :arms: :arms: :arms: :arms:
:arms: :arms: :arms: :arms: :arms:

Thank you soooo much love, this is the first time anyone has done this for me and I LOVE IT. ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHAPTERS SO FAR.

Now I don't think I'll be writing anything soon, but I've got a way to send my love back <33.

KRADAM LOVE FROM ME TO YOU <33



I LOVE YOU & I'LL PM YOU SOON.

:arms:

[/prays that you will like this post, and forgive me for the unnecessary smileys] :lmfao

HAI AGAIN DARLIN

:tehe:

Chapter three

"Damn it."
He does not swear, does not lash out, does not throw a huge fit over nothing. He doesn't break down, doesn't cry and scream. He doesn't do anything that's not expected of him. But, for a moment, he forgets about his limitations and so humbly slips out a swear.

OHGOSH I love that paragraph soooo much! It just went so smoothly, short, but everything was there. Not to mention imagining Allen Boy cursing is actually kinda cute. :XD

And, once he realizes his mistake, his face heats up and his heart starts to race, did anyone hear him? He then shakes his head and continues to play his guitar, shifting his position every now and then. And, out of no where, someone dances into the room.

:weird For a second there I thought it was gonna be Adam.:weird :tehe:
I think the 'did anyone hear him' should be in italics, cause he's thinking about it.

Of course, while he's in the middle of practicing, why not? It's not like he's in the middle of something important. However his negative voice inside his head, he grins at the red head and puts away his guitar. He's not hungry nor does he want the attention – he doesn't know why he agrees to the offer.

'Of course' italics again. I think it'll be better if you add in 'as a matter of fact' in the last sentence. Like this,

He's not hungry nor does he want the attention - as a matter of fact he even doesn't know why he agrees to the offer.

"Hey, look who's finally out of its shell."

I think 'its' should be his.

Shy and uncomfortable could describe Kris and anyone could see it.

Hmm, maybe you should change the sentence a little bit. Kris felt shy and uncomfortable, and anyone could see it.

He almost looks like he's been through something traumatic and it's quite the opposite.

'And' should be 'but'.

He only lived in a town that no outsider visited. He had a loving wife – his beautiful Katy – and his parents. There is nothing out of ordinary about him except maybe for the fact that he never really speaks to anyone but himself.

NAWWWW ALLEN BOY :arms: :arms:

And when he hears shuffling to the right of him, he looks up to see the guy he shared a room with. He doesn't go out and hug him like Danny and Allison; he doesn't even greet him with a friendly nod of his head.

:weird FOR SECOND THERE I REALLY WANTED TO KNOW WHAT ADAM WAS WEARING. :weird

Kris frowns – he hates Subway.

omgno: ALLEN BOY HOW COULD YOU HATE SUBWAY?!

I just had Subway last week, :tehe: They make the best spicy Italian sandwiches ever. :yah :yah

-
I like this slow chapter, cause the readers got to know Kris more. :cute:
Forgive me if this review's not as good as the others, I was listening to 'Yummy' by Gwen Stefani while typing this.

I'm feeling yummy head to toe. :lmfao

I'M OFF TO REVIEW CHAP 4 NAO. :arms:

CHAPTER TWO.

Hello again love :arms:

Oh I've forgotten to tell you that I love that picture of Allen Boy in your layout, it suited the story very much. I love how he's all deep in his thoughts. :tehe:

He wonders what's going through in their minds while they eat together. He wonders what Allison is thinking when she stares at him for too long – longer than he likes.

I love that part -in a sad kind of way- cause it was easy to relate to Allen Boy's insecurity. I don't like it when people stare at me for too long, either. It makes me wanna jump right onto them and scoop their brains out. :shifty

And while he walks through the roads of Las Angeles, he wonders if people notice him.

A tiny spelling error there, it should be Los Angeles. :cute:

Was he lying to himself again or maybe this is just a crazy coincidence?

A little confused here. Maybe you should re-arrange your sentence. Is he lying to himself again, or is this just a crazy coincidence?

His eyes narrow and all he can think about is the future that he knows he's bound to fail. He can imagine Katy, his beautiful and kind Katy. Her eyes disappointed and her mouth open wide. He can already predict what she would do next – turning her back on him and leave. He can imagine his mother and although she might be supportive, she would also be disappointed. And his father – he tries not to let his mind wonder that far into the future – would definitely be upset. His lip quivers and he can't let himself cry anymore.

This part is so.... . I wanted to hug Allen Boy so badly. You made him seem so hopeless, yet he's still doing it to please his family. You mentioned all his family members, but you only added in what was necessary instead of writing a super long paragraph. So, kudos to that.

She says that he has talent and that he could make it far into the competition and he remembers himself shaking his head and denying her kind and generous compliments.!

NAWWW. THAT WAS SO CUTE! I could totally imagine both of them doing that, with Katy's head on his shoulder and both of them linking fingers.

As soon as he opens the door, he sees that vermin sitting on his bed.

:lmfao Vermin. What a nice choice of word. :lmfao

"I won't bite.".

I have no idea why, but that part made me giggle. :weird

He doesn't mean to be cold – he doesn't even know until Adam suddenly looks hurt and confused. ...... He almost feels bad.

Hmm, I think it should be He didn't mean to be cold - he doesn't even know... ...... He almost feel bad.

Adam doesn't deserve his kindness.

omgno: WHY KRIS WHY?!

:tehe:

-
Another great chapter. A few mistakes, but the rest was well written. Once again, your ability to capture Allen Boy's thoughts and blending in with the surroundings is great. I are so jealous much. :file:

I don't know if I'll manage to finish the third one by tomorrow, cause my school's having a Carnival day and I have to help out with my class's stall. We're selling fast food. :tehe:

Keep up the amazing work love. :arms:

O.M.F.G.

:cheese: DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING TALENTED YOU ARE?! :cheese:

My jaw literally dropped when I finished the first chapter. NO LIES.

The title caught my eye, :tehe:. AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY I WAS TO CLICK ON IT AFTER READING THIS STORY.

Srsly, You. Are. Amazing. Everything just fits into place, Kris's thoughts, his emotions, his surroundings, everything. It was so real, for a second I actually felt like I was standing next to Allen boy, watching him with his voice in my head narrating the whole scene. :twitch:

His frown turns into a scowl as the other man decides to snore louder – louder than before. And just for that second, the boy wants to walk over and slap him hard.

:brightside: :tehe: :XD :lmfao

I apologize, that was completely inappropriate. But that line made me giggle and I had to re-read it again, just to get a clearer image of it in my head. :XD I love that line, cause it's a side of Kris that no one has ever seen before.

...Well, I haven't. :shifty :XD

He isn't quite sure if he's miserable and lonely or clingy and desperate. And as he gets in the shower and shampoos his hair, he knows what he misses. He misses Arkansas, he misses the university, he misses his family, he misses their smell, and most of all, he misses Katy. His beautiful Katy – all his and no one else's and just thinking of her makes him cry. He wants to hold her and to love her and to never let her leave him again.

omgno:

My heart melted. You've written it in the simplest way, yet it could hold so much.

Kris grinds his teeth and doesn't realize that he's squeezing a conditioner bottle. He hates him. He hates him. He hates Adam. There is no explanation; Kris hasn't come up with one yet.

Kris doesn't know why, he doesn't want to know why. But, there is no denying the fact that little Kris does not and will not have a friendship with Adam Lambert.

I smiled at that paragraph. No one knows why Kris hates Adam so much, but you've written it in a way that you're able to convince the readers Kris will find out the reason why within the next few chapters.

-
MY GOD, HOW THE HELL COULD I MISS OUT SUCH AN AMAZING STORY?!
I apologize if there's any grammar mistakes up there, I'm really guilty of that. :shifty
This story deserves a review for every chapter.
AND I'MMA DO IT CAUSE IT'S SO BLOODY GOOD. no kidd. :file:

This is the first story that I've read written by you, and I'm positive that the others are amazing as well. Gah, I've fallen for you already. :arms: :arms:

I promise to comment on the other chapters when I have the time, I have to go right now. :arms:

Well done, love.

YES. I love it.
AAAAAAAAAMAZING.
I hate Subway too.

:XD everybody is doing Subway as an out to eat place :XD :tehe:
I like the way you make Kris sound and seem; it's very captivating.
I can't wait for more :tehe:

:brightside: That was mega beautiful. I loved the last line :cute: that is a very good cliffhanger :tehe: continue!

This is reallllyyy good.
I like it, a lot.
Please update soon!!!

I don't follow American Idol and I don't know much about Adam or Chris but this was a nice read! Fan or not, it was a very nice read; quite different!

Praise
I love how you began your oneshot with imagery. Paiting a picture first is always a great way to start.

He doesn't feel any joy nor does he want to jump up and down in excitement – he wants to run out of the building and never turn back. It was very interesting how you went from happy to sad so quickly without it being tacky. Nicely done!

He isn't quite sure if he's miserable and lonely or clingy and desperate. I like how you made him unsure. It made me more interested in the story.

Kris grinds his teeth and doesn't realize that he's squeezing a conditioner bottle. He hates him. This was slightly unexpected for me. I assumed there would be hidden love or something like that since it's what I've seen people write, and this suprised me. It made the story very much more original!

Critique

And as his feet land on the plush creamcicle carpet, for a minute, he thinks he's back home, and the snoring in the room was his wife's. And when realization dawns on him, he frowns. Starting the sentence with 'and' twice kind of threw me off a little. I suggest starting the sentence with 'however' since the sentence is contridacting to the first one.

He realizes the decision would be rash and unpure – something he doesn't go for. For some reason, 'unpure' doesn't exactly make sense there.

The only other critique I have is that you start your sentences with 'and' a lot and it kind of throws off the flow of the whole story. I suggest try adding transition words instead of 'and.'

...and most of all, he misses Katy. His beautiful Katy – all his and no one else's and just thinking of her makes him cry.

Poor Kris D: I just wanna give him a big ol' hug.
Anyway, this is well-written, I like it! You really got Kris' emotions through.
:cute: