A Whole New World - Comments

I'm really liking this story, so I guess I'll say well done before I carry on with this comment! I know that others have said this before me, but the plot is really strong, I haven't actually read anything like this before which is a massive breath of fresh air and kudos for originality. I think that the main character alone is really well described and developed, she seems to be to be kind of quirky in her own way, if that makes sense. I can see that you've put a lot of thought into making her come through in the story, I like the little details that you've added into the whole story too, you're a good writer and the story flows pretty well. Maybe reading over a few times would help with grammar and running on sentences but in reality this is still good, so well done again!

Thanknyouu!! :)

I find this story very interesting. I like the detail you've put into it, and the plot itself is unique from other things that I've read similar to this. I also like the complexity of the main character herself, it seems like she is developed.
But like others have said, there are a few grammatical errors. One error that I've noticed a considerable amount of times in the early chapters and would like to point out is the run-on sentences.
Other than the little mistakes, I think this story is actually really good. If you fix those up it would be an excellent read!

Thank you!! :)

The why you mix Bella's past with the rest of the story is very good. The plot is very interesting, and I find her wedding dress sort of funny considering her name. :) There are some grammar mistakes to fix, but I'm happy to see them less frequent in the newer chapters. There is an obvious growth in your writing skills. Keep it up! :)

Thank you for the feedback, I will look through and correct them now :)

I enjoy the plot. It seems interesting and engaging. I did find several grammatical mistakes. The mistakes stand out, but are the kind of minor grammar issues that can be fixed with just a little editing. A story without mistakes is automatically ten times better so, I suggest looking into those corrections. All in all, this seems like a pretty solid piece. It's definitely worth a read. ^.^

I like the plot. It flows well. However, you make a lot of grammar mistakes. They're mediocre, however to an OCD grammar freak like me, they're about as noticeable as the clouds on a story day. I hope you didn't find that rude, it wasn't my intention at all. It's a good read, regardless! x

deffinatly :) im working on an update now :)

<3

love it soooo much, oooh u mentioned me hehe. babe update asap hehe, i love you sooo much babe :P xxxx

I'll update more tomorrah chick
xx

UPDATE NOW.

OMG UPDATE NOW.

different much dude, but i like it:) love you babe xxxxxxxx

Thank you :)
and i shall be updating later tonight hopefully
love kaytee
xxx

Well done. You've really turned into an amazing writer. I really love this. More soon? :D