The Mole Hill Cake - Comments

  • Murderprincess

    Murderprincess (100)

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    Member
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    Age:
    32
    Location:
    Germany
    Thanks a lot, dear <3 I'm happy you found time to read through my stuff :)

    Thanks for the really long comment, this means a lot to me, truely. I get what you mean with the paragraphs, I think I should do it the way you say. I've read over some of my stories again and well... you're right, they look kinda blockish ><"
    Prob is that I haven't written like that before xD Before it was all long paragraphs and stuff. And well, I guess I gotta get used to it now <3

    Thanks!
    March 21st, 2010 at 11:03am
  • november rain;

    november rain; (315)

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    Member
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    28
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    Malaysia
    Hello. [:
    I had like, a contest last year which you won... Don't know if you remember or not, lol.
    But yeah, and one of your prizes was for me to read some of your stuff...
    One of them being this. Sorry for the lateness, I forgot/was lazy/was busy/etc. Dx

    But anyway, I liked the plot. Simple and cute. d:
    Yes there were some grammatical, punctuation and spelling mistakes, but not to the extent that I couldn't read the thing, lol.
    That was really really good for English not being your mother tongue! :]
    (Because there are loads of people who have wayy more mistakes although English is their mother tongue. xD)
    Oh, and I think you shouldn't have made the paragraphs so... long and blockish. Like, try to separate them. Also, dialogues should be separated - with spaces in between each line - like this:
    "Hi," he said quietly.

    "Hey, what's up?"

    Instead of:
    "Hi," he said quietly.
    "Hey, what's up?"

    But like I said before, not too many errors, so yeah. x] Great job on this. :D
    March 13th, 2010 at 04:12pm