Luck to Change - Comments

he screeched as her shoved her roughly out the door. - the first her = he

“Why are you crying God?” she murmured in question, still protecting her once vibrant eyes. “Has one of your angels betrayed you?” - I really like these lines. :) I like the religious tones and how the rest of the story keeps that reference to them. :) I just think they're the loveliest lines in the story. :)

Her angel wings have been long since - had instead of have

I also liked how you used the lyrics in the story, and that it was a moment of realization for the both of them - Nikki at a former point in time, and Vanity then and there. It reminded me so much of the Heroin Diaries (and the book is in my flat mate's room, so I did a quick google search and that was her name right). I liked how real it felt - but how time was different compared to the diaries (if it was her). But what made it nice to read was the contrast of needing religion to bring her through, and just music to bring him through his addictions. I think it was quite nice how you portrayed the ideas differently. :)

Wow, this is really amazing, I love the whole idea of it and your writing is amazing. You're a really talented writer :)

I'm so sorry for taking so freaking long.
Here is your review finally. :D

I like the opening, where they're in the fight. I also like how you didn't make it into some kind of beat fest where she got the shit kicked out of her, but you could still tell how upset Nikki was with her.

I'm not much one for religion, but I think you did a beautiful job with putting God into this, without shoving religion in your reader's face.

Wow. That was heartbreaking. :( You did such an amazing job with this. I loved it.

That was beautiful. :)

I really liked your story.
It was really well written. I liked what you did with the song.

Don't worry, I think I'll let you in. :cute: