Alone This Holiday - Comments

This was a great story here. The emotion was portrayed fantastically. I'm not sure what else to say other than I truly enjoyed getting to read this. =)

Oh my God. This was beautiful. You had my heartbeat even beating fast, this was written so incredibly. I loved the ending, how we learn Gerard was planning to engage to him, it made me really want to cry. I feel so bad for him, but I think you described Gerard’s reaction to the breakup really well. I really don’t know what to say. There wouldn’t be anything about this I’d change.

Like I said before I love the detail you put into the story.

The streets outside were glittering, the frosted flakes of snow clinging to every surface. As the evening started to descend upon the neighbourhood, houses started to blink reds, blues, whites and yellows and flashing Santa’s started to make their way up chimneys.

Cheery carol singers could be heard miles away, and the contagious sound of children’s laughter filled the air. Christmas spirit was all around it seemed, in all but one household.

I thought it gave a little insight of what happening on the outside. And it gives that little tinge of wanting to know more.

“I can’t just let you go! You’re my life.” Gerard bit his lip, willing the tears from cascading down his face. He tried to take hold of the hand that he knew as well as his own, but Bert had pulled it back as though Gerard was dirty.

Those sentences ^^ made me want to slap Bert. To me thats like a slap in the face, when someone that you love doesn’t want to touch you.
“It’s Christmas tomorrow,” Gee mumbled, ignoring the goose-pimples that had risen on his chalky skin in fear of losing one more moment he could have spent looking at his love.

^^That made me want to go awe. I thought it was something a child would say and in my mind when I read it, it sounded like he was mumbling it but pleading at the same time.

“Merry Christmas, Bert.” Gerard mumbled, his tears mingling with his words and making them almost inaudible. Gently, he stripped it of the paper he had wrapped so carefully a few weeks earlier and pulled out his gift to Bert.

Opening the box, he pulled out the contents and chucked it. Sobbing now, he watched as the white-gold engagement ring sparkled in the fire. Through his tears, Gerard laughed bitterly to himself.

“Will you marry me?”

^^That’s like icing on the cake of sadness. I thought it was a good way to end the story. At first before I got to this part I thought he was going to kill himself. But I like this ending way better.

Overall I liked the story. I thought it was heart wrenching. And for someone to say I don’t love you anymore tares a persojn to shreds.

Sorry I tried to italicize the parts of your story but I couldn't.

I'm not good at long comments... but I loved it. A lot. Especially the ending. It made me want to really get on with my one-shot for the Gerbert contest. :XD

“Merry Christmas, Bert.” Gerard mumbled, his tears mingling with his words and making them almost inaudible. Gently, he stripped it of the paper he had wrapped so carefully a few weeks earlier and pulled out his gift to Bert.

Opening the box, he pulled out the contents and chucked it. Sobbing now, he watched as the white-gold engagement ring sparkled in the fire. Through his tears, Gerard laughed bitterly to himself.

“Will you marry me?”

HOW COULD YOU!?!?!?!?!?

I make a Gerbert competition, and you're here trying to make me cry!! I'm not saying I didn't like it, I loved it! I loved the description, the way you made the characters so realistc with their attitudes, but come on!

I agree with ICGP.. Bert should come back to Gerard in a sequel and and pin him against the wall and fuck his brains out. Or don't, I guess it doesn't matter. XD

But still.. I really liked it. Definitely one of my favorite Gerberts, I could sense the feeling and emotion of the story, and it made it all the better. Congrats, good luck on the contest!

xoxo-
Frankie

OH! YOU CRUEL PERSON!

This is really really good you know. I hate it because I love the Bert and Gerard pairing and I'm still really sad that they could have ever thought about breaking up. How could they do that to us? How could Bert do that to Gerard?



You know, I loved the thought of Bert still loving Gerard, which made it all the more confusing as to why he was leaving. Don't tell me he didn't love Gerard - because he obviously did. I will not be told otherwise. It's absolutely stupid when the two are not together. Why did Bert leave?! He could grow to love Gerard, couldn't he?! He could fall back in love, right?! They'll get back together won't they?!

I'm using too many questalmation marks. :mrgreen:

Oh and the ending was fabulous. I loved how he went from being upset to being bitter within the space of about four lines. I really liked that, especially the sketchbook part, because you didn't explain why he was ripping it up until we had thought of our own ideas first. Very good. I liked that. Oh, and I loved the reference to the snowfall, because obviously it fit extremely well with the Christmas feel.

The ending was also fab. I'm not too happy how it ended though. Why couldn't they have gotten back together?! Can you do a sequel where Bert turns up on the doorstep and realises his mistake and then they can spend Christmas together? I didn't really like all those would have and should haves. Especially the one with the presents and the fire. Now that was hard to take...

Very good. Worth waiting for, but has now put me in a 'Why oh why did Berard or Gerbert end?' mood.



xoxo