Faint - Comments

You did a good job on this. The thoughts and actions were very realistic. You took a very blunt approach with this and I like that.

i thought you did a really good job with this. just as dragonxfox mentioned, it was very realistic. i could also visualize it happening. i think it flowed really nicely and i definitely liked it.

REVIEW:

I enjoyed reading this story, it was pretty easy to read.

This story is pretty consistent of what is known about anorexia, her reactions were very realistic.

My favorite part was at the end,
"Her head pounded and she massaged her forehead. Her heart stopped, the world around her suddenly on mute, and everything looked so blurry.

Her eyelids fluttered, and she blinked, threatening to close on her. Weakness overcame her, and she caved in.

The problems she tried to bottle up had been unleashed. Crash. Faint. Gasps. Sighs. Calls for help. Everything. Then nothing."

Something I noticed was, "Her eyelids fluttered, and she blinked, threatening to close on her."

Maybe you should have written, the world threatening to close in on her?
It is unclear as to what was meant here, making the sentence awkward.

It was very realistic, good imagery, I could visualize it happening. Well done.
Good luck in the contest :cute: