August 9th, 2007 at 05:09am
I loved it. I love everything you write. That was really beautifully written, and a heartbreaking story. The description was simple and beautiful and the narration flowed very smoothly.
An uproarious laugh followed that statement, which could have only have belonged to my best friend, Jamie.
You should correct that. ;)
There was no other mistakes, it was the closest thing to perfect.
I love how you've used metaphors and it's apparent that you worked hard on this and put some effort into it. Not many writers do. Some just write without any thought. Or, that's how it seems to me.
I don't have a favorite line, actually. I liked the beginning, middle and the ending pretty equally.
People passed me in a blur. A mix of emotions and colors. As if there was not enough time in the world. Voices echoed around me, fading into each other.
Amazing way to start a story. That's very beautiful, Emilee. :]
The ending was strong, powerful. I loved it. And I loved the fact that you didn't reveal 'his' name until in the last paragraph, it kind of creates excitement and curiosity in the reader(well, at least me) and they can't stop reading.
I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I'm glad there wasn't any boysex. (I know, shocker)It was better without. :]
Poor, poor Ian.
Gerard the big sweaty fucker.
(actually he's not that big, he's EXACTLY the same height as me)
But yeah.
CHANGE IT TO FAT!
xD
What was with spelling colours the american way?
You american!
lol
I was just gonna say something...but I changed my mind in case someone attacked me.
xD
I love your writing, gheyo.
I shall steadily read all of your stories, as I'm a stalker like that.
:tehe:
Hardcore Rapper, Mike, is SINGING. XD