Adrian - Comments

that was really good :) it was a really fun read :)

Oh.my.god.
I loved it!
Keep writing bro, you're an amazing writer!

Nice update. I liked it.
:]
Can't wait for more.

yay it's finally out chapter four! xD
lol it's good, definite cliffhanger though xD
So far so good, updated soon lol ^_^

oooh; i know another difference between humans and elves.
they have big ears and humans dont(;
ha,

Chapter 3 was pretty good as well ^_^
keep it up ^_^

I loved the update! I'm wondering where the huge adventure will come in, though. The real goal, if you know what I mean. I can see it being set up but it isn't quite there, yet. :[
Anyway, amazing chapter. I can see Nanisha and Adrian being lovers. :]

OMG< that kept me on edge, is there going to be more. and please check out some of my stories.

It's pretty good. Some critism I have to give would be try not to worry about minor details, such as when eating food. It'd be bette rto have those details used more in describing an apperance. I also noticed that you have yet give details on character profiles and histories, or is that being saved for later? So far pretty good though ^_^ It's pretty nice that it's eays to play the scenes in the readers mind though ^_^ Keep it up ^_^

Just because I suck, here's some constructive critism!
First off, in writing you don't need to keep repeating words and phrases, such as "he thought" or "he said in his head." Another thing, don't say something right after you already said it once, "..ham melted in his mouth...and the bacon crunched in his mouth." It's not a necessity. Just a pet peeve of mine. :]

ANYWAY, amazing set up! I'm really loving it so far. :] I can't wait to see the next chapter.
-goes to subscribe-

For being the type of story it is, it's good. :D
You don't see many stories like this on this site.
"This will be a piece of cake, none of the students are as good as I am, Adrian thought to himself with confidence. They probably won't even last one minute before I destroy them."
Something tells me it won't be that easy. :P
Good job. :D

Ah-ma-zing!! You used the name I gave you. YAY!
I like it!

Second chapter is good as well.
I'm curious to find out what happens with the mock battle

Alright, well, the idea is really good
It's pretty well written, but could use some editing
I noticed some spelling and grammar mistakes, but that happens
Other than that, I really liked it.
Nice job

aw no comment virginity eh its ok i got your other one.

Anyways I liked it and I can't wait for more. It was quite amazing actually im excited to see where it goes. :) If you need a banner let me know. Ummm
-Subscribes-
<3<3 Veraalyn Mackenzie :)

Awesome, comment virginity!!!!
I love it, it's amazing x)