Adieu - Comments

Just for the record, anything with Italian in it...is amazing beyond reason in its own right. Also, just for the record, translation site suck, and they do not give you the right way to say things. Just so you know, of course.

I'd just like to point out that I do the same thing in Italian, when I don't want to let people know what I'm feeling. My own little way of connecting there.

Also, reading the summary, I was convinced Bert had killed someone...

the chemistry between them was fatal. Okay, yeah, amazing.

“You’ll come home, Gee” Bert mumbled into the empty room, before adding doubtfully “Won’t you?” Right there was where I realized either he would die or Gerard would come back. Touching. I felt emotionally involved the whole time, very good writing.

“You have to come back.” Bert croaked, cradling the pillow to his side. “I’ll keep it all warm for you; It’ll be like you never went away.” I did awe right there, thank you very much.

Every second, every minute, and every hour – Bert would stare at their bedroom door until he would see a figure standing in the doorway. Way to break my heart. Amazing, the way you described his time in that room.


“There’s one thing I do know,” Gerard smiled, as he led Bert back to the bed, “If it hurts this much – then it must be love.” Great note to end it on.

Despite what Bert did I couldn't help but feel for him, knowing that he knew it was a mistake and that he felt so horrible about it. Really loved the bit of Italian in here.
This story was really amazing. So sad and so sweet at the same time. Wonderfully done.

I love you.

I think you know as well as I do that this one-shot is possibly the best thing I've read from you. It's definitely better than GSDE! Haha, remember that? Funny times....

Still, the Italian was a lovely touch - at first I was kinda confused - perhaps thinking that it might be Spanish seeing as that's what you took for GCSE, but I think it's good that you added in some Italian. It was a good touch even if I couldn't understand a word Gerard was saying (apart from Ti amo.) Gosh, it was so sad because it was almost as if Gerard blamed himself rather than Bert for what happened.

The ending was good, mainly because the two weren't exactly back together, but we learnt that Gerard forgave Bert which was sweet. However that could have just been out of sympathy because Bert was dying. Oh... sad. I think you knew I'd love this, because it's bittersweet - like the couple themselves. I mean, Bert and Gerard are no more in the real world, and even though when they were friends it wasn't all roses and happy field skipping, the break-ups in stories always get to me.

Have fun in Ibiza. You've inspired me to get down to mine now, however I'm not quite sure what to write about. :mrgreen:

xo

That was an amazing story! I loved it, I'm glad that he ended up comeing back. As for the translations... unfortunatley although I am Italian I on't know what any of that was because I wasn't raised being the Euro-Mutt I am. But they sounded pretty good to me as I was able to understand them a bit.
From a one to ten, I give it a ten.

I can see why your proud of this one shot. And you should be proud. It's amazing.

I generally dont read Gerard/Bert pairings. Because in 8/10 of them Bert is portrayed as a monster. And you kind of did that. But the way you did it, he didnt mean to. He knew it was a mistake, and was sorry.

You write really well. They way you write about how bad Bert feels. How he doesnt eat, sleep or move away from the bed.

“You have to come back.” Bert croaked, cradling the pillow to his side. “I’ll keep it all warm for you; It’ll be like you never went away.”

I liked that line. I dunno, it made me think of something a child would say. But it made me kinda upset at the same time, 'cause I knew just how bad Bert felt.

The ending, where Gerard came back was good. I think that it could have been abit longer, but it still made me smile. Because they both loved each other and both needed each other. The song that inspired this, it's a beautiful song.

Overall, its perfect. Be proud of this. Be very proud.

Oh wow. You are such a good writer. I'm envious of your skills, the mad skills you possess. The way you described his thoughts and feelings are insane. It's like you are Bert (I have a hunch Bert is a real person) and you love Gerard (Who doesn't!) and overall it was creative, sweet, heatbreaking, and loving in a matter of moments. I enjoyed this and I expect more great things for you!

I'll be writing this comment sort of as I go along reading the story. :cute: Which I totally can't wait to read because I love Bert/Gerard pairings.

First of all, I like the use of a foreign language in the story. I think it spiced it up a little more, added that sort of romantic effect to the story. The only problem was having to scroll down to find the translations and having to scroll back up, but that wasn't really your fault as the author, seeing as that would have cut the flow of the story and such. So, I got over that.

I like how it rips Bert apart. The fact that Bert can't really understand Gerard makes it especially more heartbreaking. I also like how Gerard still admits that he loves Bert, even though his confession has just basically ripped them apart.

I've also noticed quite a few minor errors in the story. Things like typos, no punctuation at the end of dialogue. Your best bet to make these things go away is to read it over again, which I'm sure you would have done. If that doesn't help, I think that you can find someone who will beta-read your story in the forums. I think there's a specific thread but I'm not sure, I've never had someone beta my work. So if you search there, you can find someone willing to read and correct your story.

Ah, I feel really bad for Bert. At least he regrets his bad decisions. But in a way, he still seems sort of naive and vulnerable, and that I like about his character.

“You have to come back.” Bert croaked, cradling the pillow to his side. “I’ll keep it all warm for you; It’ll be like you never went away.”

I also just adored that line. It was all but at the same time. And there's something so simple about it, like it seems like a line that a child would say. But it's still very sweet. Also the fact that he doesn't answer his phone calls, just to keep the line free - that broke my heart, I think. Just the fact that he's so depressed but still has hope for Gerard to come back.

Ah, so - I'm torn over the possibility that either Bert was waiting for Gerard to come back just because he knew his lover too well, or that Bert was just waiting there with no other purpose than keeping Gerard's side of the bed warm, hoping to near-death that his lover would return. It's probably better to abandon the possibilities and accept that Gerard just came back anyways.

I also just loved the last line of the story as well - “If it hurts this much – then it must be love.” It was just a really nice ending to the story, and I mean some last lines can make or break the whole chapter but I think that it wrapped it up very nicely.

My overall thoughts for the story were that though it moved a little too fast for my taste (as in, you could have taken a bit more time to explain the emotions, but maybe that's how your style is, I don't know - I just would have liked to read more on that), I still really liked it because I'm a sucker for love stories like this. I still advise getting a beta to read your story, but on top of that, I liked the tone and character development.

Great job x)

I don't read many slash stories. Actaully I think this is like my fourth one.

So my opinion. I thought it was really fantastic. The way you described things and painted an image in my mind. The way I wanted to cry when Bert told him he cheated The way Gerard didn't come back for months and when he did he forgave him. I wanted to jump for joy when he finally forgave him.

I liked the way it you made it sound like true love. And how he wanted nothing more then to take that drunken night back. :D