I'll See Through You, Your Pale Blue Eyes - Comments

Update! Its been a year!

I love it so far:)
I hope she gets into slytherin, because i've read alot of draco stories where she ends in gryffindor :')
update<3

i love it update soon!!!!!

love it more PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

love it update soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon PLEASE

Loved it. :)

i love it update soooooooooooon PLEASE

I don't care if it doesn't make sense, I enjoy a well-written "Voldemort's daughter" story. Afterall, I am writing one myself, though mine goes in another direction completely. :file: Actually, that's how I found this. I saw your response to a character game and I thought "wait a minute..."
Love the story! I have to say, throwing Harry in with the role he's playing is quite different from other similar stories I've read.

Love this, it's absolutely amazing!

Poor spyk3.
May he rest in peace. ;)
&
Loved it!

I love it. i love the plot and everything.
but as HelloShelby stated, usually i don't read stories that...make no sense. but you write quite well, and i enjoy reading this story.

So continue with the updates? (:

that was pretty good. Not just good, excellent. hehe.
I cant wait for more; I am so subscribing

I loved itt!
I can't wait until you update again. ;D

oopsie Voldemort** teehee.
nice update! :*

I'm really picky with stories that I read, and as much as I love Draco, some writers just don't do it for me. It's even worse with characters that other authors have made, because I keep comparing and if it doesn't make sense (like Voldemore having a daughter) I don't read it, I don't go past the summary. YOU, however, have captured me as a subcriber =] Just the way you write made me think that it was worth going into the first chapter, and soon enough I was at the end of the fourth waiting for more :D Erm... keep it up?

xoxo shelbz

Story/Review Game

Hello there! :cute:
I see this is a Harry Potter fanfic, let's see what we have here :tehe:

"I knew that the clouds were not due to the weather, but to Dementors, coming to scare wizards of dark magic. I was one of the targeted. "Harry, go!" I called, walking toward him."

Just a tidbit, when a person speaks, it should be started in a new paragraph, rather than at the end.

"... I was one of the targeted.

"Harry, go!" I called, walking toward him."

He shook his head then took off, not sparing me a second glance. I smiled. He was so cute. I took off after him, following him into a deserted bus stop. The Muggle boy glanced at me.

You might want to mention in here that Harry put the Muggle down, seeing as I don't think Harry could run and carry the guy too :tehe:

"Wizarding rules don't really apply to me as much as for you." I put the wand back.

At the end of her remark, there should be a "I said" or "I responded." You could even try combining the sentence to something like: "Wizarding rules don't really apply to me as much as for you," I responded as I put the wand back.
(back into the pocket? maybe a little more specific could help :cute:)

"It was too soon though, because a Dementor had just swooped into the tunnel, pinning Harry to the wall. Another was right behind him."

That sentence is slightly awkward. Maybe rephrasing it or combining the sentence shall ease it.

"My vision was blurred as the Dementor started sucking the life from me.

Wait, when did a dementor grab her? You probably mention that :XD

"Something must have distracted one, because its hold let up just enough for me to get my wand out.

^^^Something must have distracted it.

"The Muggle was on the ground at the end of the tunnel. He was obviously very scared. "I'm sorry.""

As mentioned before, "I'm sorry" should be started in a new paragraph form.

Overall: I really like where this story is going. I haven't read a good Harry Potter fanfic for a while, and I realize I miss them :tehe: It is very well written and isn't swamped in over detail. Only things you should watch out for is the occasional slip up that people tend to overlook and you'll be totally fine.
I hope this will help you

Aw, Draco and Adelaide are incredibly sweet together!

Aww. Draco cares about her. ;D

God, this is absolutely amazing! You have to update soon!

Aaah. Dracos so sweet. :D