OMG I just scared my cat because I was so excited at the email that this had been updated! That was very atmospheric, very Silent Hill esque. I love it. Please update more regularly!!!
It's based upon Silent Hill!!!!!!! I just beat Silent Hill 2 again, but this time around my PS2 died :( No more Silent Hill until I get a new one. Anyway that is totally not important. I really, really would like to see this continued.
Soooooooooooooooooo, I know you told me what it was based off of before on AIM, and now that you told me that, I re-read it, and I can definitely see how you got this a lil' bit. And as I read it, I can literally see this neeka in this old room, like how you would start off in the gameSilent Hill. Your descriptions, I can see. I can almost imagine the smell, too, as weird as it sounds xD
Shakily I rise to my feet, dusting off my torn jeans. You needa comma after shakily. xD
This is a Zack story, right? I can't remember xD But yah, if it is Zack, then he'll prolly go through this damn castle-shit, whatever it is, and he'll find this creepy ass chick, which brings in the text from the summary page. So, yeah, I can't wait until you post that chapter you've been writing.
This vaguely reminds me of 1984 by George Orwell? I'm probably extremely wrong...but for some odd reason it does. I actually really dig it. Even if I am way off point. =]