Annie - Comments

Aw dude, that was so sad. I felt really bad for Annie and her family, the line where Annie asked her sister if she was going to be okay was really sad. I had tears in my eyes, it was very effective.

even then her eyes shown brightly,

Shown should be shone, because you're talking about the past.

I really liked this, although I felt there should be some more description, but I just love description. It works the way it is though and it's very effective. Well done. :arms:

That was really sad. I love how you were able to convey the emotions just right, I love your style of writing.

I gotta admit, I got a little misty. That was really sad.

"Yeah, Annie," I said, almost choking on the lie. I hated lying to her. "You're going to be fine."

That line, and a few others got me the most. Good jeez. I could even picture the little girl. That was very nicely written. I loved it.

My God, this makes me feel like crying. I rarely comment stories because of my laziness, but this one just needed a response. I love your style of writing- it's not clouded by unnecessary descriptions or scenes; it's straight and to the point, which really allowed me to see and feel the pain Vanessa was going through.

Bottom line- great job. This was beautifully written.

One Shot for One Shot.
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I cried, like literally.
That was so sad and the details and how straightforward you had it just gets to the heart.
Mine anyways.
I was so touched by this because I went through this a few weeks ago .
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Very touching one-shot :cute:.