Believe in Dreams - Comments

That was an amazing piece. It truly was, it was so sweet and all around amazing. Your a great, no a AMAZING writer darlin, keep up the great work. I hope to read more of your pieces in the future.

That was a very touching story. Talk about friends forever, maybe something more... I was ready to leap through my laptop screen and strangle that mother when she said that she wouldn't make it in that buisness. You have a talent for flowing sentences and paragraphs together smoothly. Great job, I loved it!!!XD

As soon as I read this, I knew that you had definitely secured a place in the contest. And you really deserved first place, in my opinion; the whole piece flowed, even from the first chapter into the second where some stories I have read haven't been able to achieve that.

You also have a knack for characterization. In the first chapter, you showed how genuine of a person Caleb was through him giving Kayla the money. You established how much he cared for her, even when no one else did. Also, even though I'm not a particularly big fan of flashbacks, they worked in your story-- when you wrote about how her mother didn't support her dreams of becoming a dancer. This bit of information made it that much more heartfelt that Caleb was doing that for her. He supported her, even though the chances of her making it big were as big as his band working out.

Both of them got lucky and reached their goals, which I really liked.

What I think I liked most about this piece was how inspired you were by the photograph. At least, your writing certainly did make it seem that way. How you incorporated ideas from the photograph you were given rather than writing about the picture made things refreshing and interesting, rather than predictable and similar to a lot of other stories.

You gave your story charisma rather than uninteresting and predictable plot "twists". By building up a sort of back-story to the second chapter, you really benefited in captivation. Making Kayla a dancer was something that you definitely came up with on your own, rather than taking it directly out of the photograph.

There isn't much for me to give constructive criticism on, although I did notice that in the second chapter, you started weaving in between present and past tense. It wasn't distracting, though, and nothing a little revision can't help.

Reading this was enjoyable, and it made me glad that there were people still out there with creativity up their sleeves writing things worth reading. Great job!

You're going to get a big fat comment later.
Just know that for now, this is amazing and I love it to bits.

//It's down there. Great job, once again.
:cute:

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeehowwwwww.
:3

I loved this. I really, really did. You're amazing.
They're cute.
That's all.

<3

T....T <3<3

What I wanted didn't happen, but I still liked it.
But it made me want to cry.

But I'm glad they both made it! So conflicting!

More Pleaseeee.
I need to know that Caleb is loved by Kayla entirely.
Because that is such a sweet thing to do.
The sweetest thing ever. <3