Real Life Fiction - Comments

This is amazing and I love it but its so so sad!!!!! Im so close to crying now! Its beautifully written!

Two things:

One, this is a breathtaking story... It is well writen and isn't at all uninteresting at any part of it. You did proper grammar, spelling, etc... I will now read more of your work because of this peice... I feel like this should have more views... But it doesn't. o3o

Anyways, the second is this made me cry at the end... Good lord. xD

I feel like a baby. c:

I got The Hotel New Hampshire for christmas!because it sounds really good!

Wow.
Can you tell I love what you write?
xD

this was amasing it made me cry but yea am sad like that
u made this sound so real u r realy good at writing this sorta thing :)

idea.:

I agree with every single comment; amazing.
One phrase caught me; 'Why not go swimming when your already wet?'
Im pretty sure I said no incest but this was well worth the rule-break!

**it's "you're", not "your". :]

OH MY GOD.

THAT WAS, THE BEST, I'VE EVER READ. EVER.

And usually, the "good" stories on Mibba are confusing to me. But this was nowhere near confusing; I understood EVERY bit of it!

Also, third-person story-telling about the past and stuff (like, "he went to college at the age of seventeen", for instance) is usually very suckish and boring.

BUT YOURS WAS AMAZING. I'M OFFICIALLY A FAN!

I agree with every single comment; amazing.
One phrase caught me; 'Why not go swimming when your already wet?'
Im pretty sure I said no incest but this was well worth the rule-break!

This is utterly amazing, I love it all. The amount of detail you put in to it, the way you referred to 'The hotel New Hampshire'.

I agree with pretty much everything that i defy you stars. said.

This has probably taken me over two hours because I got sidetracked but I honestly loved this, it’s so sad and beautiful and heartbreaking. You’re a really fabulous writer.

Roight, I’ll start from the beginning. Immediately you tell us some really vital information about how they liked books and stuff which was really straight to the point, I liked that. I also loved how you managed to weave in some pieces of background story, it was really adorable, and it added to the fact that he was remembering his childhood if you know what I mean?

After that, Mom home schooled both of us, bringing Mikey and I closer and closer together.that seemed ominous, almost scary, I was like shit, what’s gonna happen? Although I knew a lot from the summary.

I should have realized it was dangerous. I shouldn't have let him become so dependant on me but at a young age, you never know what the rest of your life is going to turn out like. You never expect that your little brother is going to develop an infatuation with you that would lead to his death. You definitely don't expect that you're going to come home and find his body lying on your bed, two bottles of vodka and a container of sleeping pills strewn on the floor. that was so sad, I liked how you gave away the ending before the end as well, it was really interesting and added a very Romeo and Juliet feel as everyone knows how it ends and everyone knows they can’t change the end so now through the whole thing I was like “SHIT. MIKEY. NOOOO!”

I love the added bits of the book The Hotel New Hampshire, because it was sort of like a book inside a book, and even though I haven’t read it, I already could tell that the book was very responsible for mikey’s demise and everytime the characters mentioned the book it was sort of sad and my heart beat a little faster.

Most parents wouldn't let a child as young as Mikey read it but my mother didn't really mind. The book was full of cursing and sex, with incidents of rape and incest but Mom wasn't stupid. She knew that Mikey already knew what such things were and there was no point of keeping your child from swimming if they were already wet. I especially loved the final line :XD it was really sort of comedic yet I could identify with it a lot.

I love how the book came apart of their lives as well, and you obviously did your research on the door. I love the line: Keep passing the open windows. used as a motto because it was really poignant, and showed mikey and gerard’s connection through the book. And how I eventually came a way for Gerard to ensure Mikey was okay or a way to stop Mikey from stopping passing the open windows if you know what I mean. The motto was their safety.

One of my favourite parts was the little hobby mikey started with cooking – I think that added something to the piece. It was sort of adorable

"Gee, I need to talk to you," he said and I could see his lip curling as I stumbled and sat down beside him, vision a little blurry. My memories of that night should been hazy, considering my state of mind, but I can remember everything with crystal clarity. He set the book in my lap and flipped it to a page I knew all too well, after reading the book at least a dozen times.

"Yeah yeah Mike, I know Franny and John have sex," I slurred, slamming it shut and handing it back to him. "What's that have to do with anything?" He only chuckled and rested his chin on my shoulder, nuzzling his nose against my neck.

"Because that's what I need," he whispered and even through my vodka daze, I felt my blood freeze. I turned to look at him, mouth open and ready to utter words when his lips started smothering mine, showing that he was completely new to this kind of thing. I was so plastered that all I could do was sit there numbly, letting him attack my mouth until he bit down hard enough to bring blood. That woke me the fuck up. I could just copy and paste the whole thing but this part was amazing. I loved the dialogue as it ran smoothly and sensibly and he line ‘yeah yeah mike, I know Franny and John have sex’ it made me laugh. Also they way mikey wanted gerard, you could just sense his urgency and lust and ohgod, it was sort of beautiful yet a little fucked up. And it was perfect.

I wanted Mikey to have a life. I wanted him to be able to marry, give our Mom some grandchildren to dote on. I didn't want him to be in love with me anymore. We were both holding the other back. I had to do it.

I made love to my brother to try to save us both. All I did was condemn Mikey to die. I love how you didn’t make it seem smutty ‘made love’ I’m glad of that as it suggested feelings and love and it was really beautiful how he was setting them free.

The last section was really scary because I knew the ending and I knew it wouldn’t be okay yet I wanted it to. I loved how you made me feel emotion for them and gave them characters that weren’t just Mikey and Gerard from MCR. That was nice. \I’m not gonna copy+paste or I’ll be here all day but mikey’s death was really… I dunno. Good, I guess.

Especially this part: He was beautiful in death, a peaceful angel. A small smile lay on his lips, taunting me. His eyes were thankfully closed; if they'd been open, I probably would have puked again. I brushed a few loose strands off his face, something Mom always used to do to him as a kid. I mean, I totally almost cried at that, it was so sad and again reverted back to the beginning when he reminisced about his child hood.

The suicide note I dunno, it was good, but I felt it was slightly too informative. But it sort of scared me a bit.
Gee, when you agreed to be as close to me as two humans can be, it only made me love you more. You didn't free me, I only ended up more chained. I wanted more from you, I wanted that night over and over again. I wanted to hear you whispering my name, moaning, crying out. I think that bit was a bit much, I dunno it sort of annoyed me but the rest was still really, really good.

I loved how it ended on the motto, and the whole story was also rounded off by Mikey stopped passing the open windows. It's only a matter of time before my guilt gets to me and I do as well. which was a really scary thought. It made me sad to think that Gerard will end up the same way as Mikey :/

I loved this, beautifully written. You should be really proud of it :arms:

That was fucking amazing.
I like how the story is told from the present about the past but them has a little of both in between. (Does that make any sense at all? :/)
I also liked how it was slash but wasn't this perfect happy ending kind of thing. This seems more realistic.

Now I have to read the book and see how it is.

Fantastic job on this story!

Wow. This is brilliant.
It has enough background and detail to give the reader an idea of what's happening, but it's not overwhelming. And I love the fact that it's slash, but not immensely slash-y (I'm not that huge of a fan of slash, to be honest.)
The story was really sad, and had a good meaning.

... sad... *boo-hoo*.........
totally awesomeness! yaya!

Oh my,
this is a amazingly wirtten story,
I honestly loved it :]