September 9th, 2007 at 03:12am
Oh. Wow.
Green eyes, buried beneath thick dark brows, studied the photograph clutched between two shaking fists. Greasy tendrils of charcoal colored hair were flopped over the gent’s forehead, some of the longer pieces falling into his line of vision. The stud paid no mind to this, he was too engrossed in the picture to care.
I'm a sucker for great opening paragraphs these days. This was one of them. I like the flashback-present style you used, which somehow gives more emphasis on he twistedness of their love, though I feel for the poor Agares. Azazel's character was developed though, and there's some warped reasoning in his head on the border of gentle love and brutal... well, fucking. Atmosphere was well-crafted. This is like, scarce and full at the same time. [I have no idea what I just said; hopefully you understand]
Btw, I'm writing a script for a play of our class regarding the 7 deadly sins and the Greek gods, so... yeah. Just had to mention it. Haha.
I really like how in the beginning you did always refer to the man and "the man", but as "the sud", "the gent" and then "the man". It makes it seem less repetitive, and more interesting to read.
You did a good job showing lust in the story, and how it is different than love.