Hello, Good Friend - Comments

I love this story! It's really cool how she isn't tell them who she was an made them figure it out. Update soon please! :)

Here from Le Comment Swap. First of all, your layout is nice, it's easy to read and the banner is pretty. Your actual writing style is nice, it flows well and I can't spot many mistakes grammar or spelling wise, so that's a plus. I'm looking forward to more, this really is very good.

Its really good

This is so cute! I love how she's waiting for everyone to figure it out, and the Shane thing was so cute! Update soon please!

<3333 Up-date again soon!! I'm dying to see what's going to happen next!! =)

Comment swap
I really like the way you created a scene for us readers to capture in the first chapter. I think some of us know how irritating it happens to be when coming off the plane and searching for luggage at the baggage claim area. Aside that, I really enjoyed the frustration the girl felt when no one seemed to hear her asking for help and the conversation between her and her mother. It's a pretty good start. Keep it up!

From the comment swap

I'm sort of confused, to be honest. I've only read the first chapter but I don't know why she went away from her mother to live with her father when she (seemingly) dislikes him. I'm guessing that this will be revealed later on, but from the first chapter and the summary, I'm curious as to what happened before this first chapter.
Overall, there were a few grammatical errors (comma splices) but nothing that really took away from the ease of reading.
It's a good start (:

Helllo, here from comment swap!
First, I really like this story because you jumped right in and introduced the character. I don't really have any complaints about grammar and spelling, because you're pretty much set on that part. The story overall is great and I like how the format is simple and easy to read. You have great descriptions and the dialogue is entertaining. Really good job on this, keep it up.

-Jess xx

I was sent here by Comment swap.

You are a good writer with good grammar and spelling. You have a good use of mood and language. However I agree that your main character is kind of annoying. She does not come off as someone I can relate with. She seems a little spoiled; I may have just missed the mark. Maybe someone like me is not supposed to relate to her and I can understand that. Although since I can't really relate to her, it’s difficult to get into the story. The story also seems to have a good pace. I really liked this line:
“Tony looked up at the obviously different voice that addressed him and his eyes narrowed slightly behind the glasses. He was clearly trying to figure out if he knew me.

"Excuse me?"

"Hey, Tony. How've you been?" I said, trying a more nonchalant approach. I was not going to spell it out for him, he'd have to figure it out for himself.

His head tilted back in mild annoyance. "Do I know you?"

I liked the description you used.

One other thing I did like was that the last chapter was entertaining. The bet and the game was kind of amusing and your style of writing flows really well. I can’t say that I love this story but it has made me smile and maybe I should try to read from a different view.

I was sent here by Comment swap.

You are a good writer with good grammar and spelling. You have a good use of mood and language. However I agree that your main character is kind of annoying. She does not come off as someone I can relate with. She seems a little spoiled; I may have just missed the mark. Maybe someone like me is not supposed to relate to her and I can understand that. Although since I can't really relate to her, it’s difficult to get into the story. The story also seems to have a good pace. I really liked this line:
“Tony looked up at the obviously different voice that addressed him and his eyes narrowed slightly behind the glasses. He was clearly trying to figure out if he knew me.

"Excuse me?"

"Hey, Tony. How've you been?" I said, trying a more nonchalant approach. I was not going to spell it out for him, he'd have to figure it out for himself.

His head tilted back in mild annoyance. "Do I know you?"

I liked the description you used.

One other thing I did like was that the last chapter was entertaining. The bet and the game was kind of amusing and your style of writing flows really well. I can’t say that I love this story but it has made me smile and maybe I should try to read from a different view.

Comment swap has brought me here and unfortunately i have no idea who this story is actually about. That being said it was a little hard for me to get into. I read your character bio and i think that maybe it would be more clear to unfamiliar readers if you put a little more information there? I know personally i always read character profiles first so to get a bit of a feel for the character.

All i felt for the character was that she was a little annoying making her mother swear that nothing was going to change...it turned me off but hey, i'm just a comment swapper aha. I read the first few paragraphs and i just couldn't get any further. your writing is very good, i just don't like the character. Good luck!

Comment Swap
So I was very surprised when I saw this was a Ryan Sheckler fan-fiction. I've never read one on Mibba before. I don't know if there is any out there, but I'm going to pretend there isn't and say that you have started a revolution adn now there will me millions of Ryan Sheckler fan fictions out there....Sorry i get carried away :)

Anyway, you're a very good writer. The story just flows, it isn't chopping and blocky to the point where it's just awkward to read. Kudos to you. I didn't reall see any major spelling or grammar problemssss. And I'll be subscribing to see what happens next!!

You seem like a good writer, you don't have any annoying habits like being too repetitive or not dividing your paragraphs or forgetting capital letters/punctuation, so I was glad to see that ^_^ is this an original? Cause I don't recognise the characters. If it is you have very well developed characters :) keep up the good work!! Maybe I'll check out some of your other stories :) well done.

You seem like a good writer, you don't have any annoying habits like being too repetitive or not dividing your paragraphs or forgetting capital letters/punctuation, so I was glad to see that ^_^ is this an original? Cause I don't recognise the characters. If it is you have very well developed characters :) keep up the good work!! Maybe I'll check out some of your other stories :) well done.

This was interesting. I'm really not too sure what it is about it that got me interested. It's a very basic and simple story but the way everything was written and set up makes you want to keep reading chapter after chapter. I think I might subscribe to this. Keep this story going, it's definitely interesting.

Comment Swap;

Even though I have no clue who this is about, I still like the story. I can sorta relate to Chole because I moved away and when I visited my hometown, it felt different. But now I just moved back to my hometown and feel comfortable---ANYWHO; I like this story so far, it's cute. I'm not much of a criticizer. I like the details, the way your story flows. You're a great writer. If there is a spelling or grammar error, I didn't even notice. It's a nice story that I'm enjoy so far. Who wouldn't?(: I feel like I was the actual girl Chole in the story, that's how interested I was. Haha, but great story, great writer. I'm deffinately subcribing, I wanna know what's next.

Ok, so I actually have no clue who this is about (who you're writing the fan fic about) but I must say that I totally love it! I found myself really being able to relate to Chloe because I moved away from my hometown and when I visit it feels different. I really love this so far and love how Shane remembered her. I thought that was adorable <3
I really have nothing I can criticize about this story. You had no spelling or grammatical errors or anything. Everything flowed really nicely and smoothly. I found it really easy to get into your story and was actually really sad when I reached the last chapter. I want to know what happens next! I will definitely be subscribing! Good job and can't wait till the next update! :)

i loves ittttt, and youuuuu :D

i love this!

Aw I like! Add more! :D