August 25th, 2009 at 09:43am
Wow.
I like that you didn't wrote he or she once, it makes the reader be able to imagine it to be any kind of pairing they like, either boy/boy, boy/girl, or girl/girl. In my case, I imagined it be be boy/girl, unusual for me :think:
I like how it starts, that the narrator finds the girl in front of the mirror, and tells that she often is there, that he finds her infront of it often, and the description of the mirror is very good, without being over done.
It's just so sweet, the whole story is just love, and I'm really facinated how well you manage with describing things without making it feel overdone, it just fits the story.
When he's telling her what about her body she loves, everything that she hates so much, I aw'ed, it's so sweet and even though what he say can seem ridicolous in a way, it's still well done.
Erhm, this part though It reminds me of out most fun days, isn't it supposed to be our instead of out? That's really the only thing bugging me with this story :XD
The ending is really good - even though it makes me hit computer for ending - because it's not that she's all of sudden realizing that what she does is wrong, so to speak, but he's telling her that he's there for her, making sure that she knows she's loved.
This part;
Amidst the purity of your crumbling frame, I see the darkness of this thickly tangled in your soul, a sight so sad for such an angel.
makes me shiver, it's just so amazingly described.
I loved this, it's amazing, and the only word really describing it is wow.
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