I really like chapter one. You developed Sydney's and Alex's character very well. Alex is caring and makes sure Sydney is okay, which is a good quality to have in a step sister. I like how the two of them get along as well, most cliches, step sisters hate each other, but your's is different, which I like. :D I also like Sydney's character. She's snarky and sarcastic. Having her write her name on the dorm wall was icing to the cake. :D
hahahhaha. I love how you make her climb the stairs and she treats it like a marathon. :D And then she finds out that there's elevators. More character development, and incredible character development at that. :D
A fine black layer sits over the pink dress. The straps lead into the pleated bust with knot front. The dress falls loose from the empire line waist to the hemline that sits on the knee. A zip fastening runs down the back.
Amazing description of the dress.
I like how you compare the way Sydney feels about herself around Alex. It's obvious she has a low self esteem, which is good in a character, because it leaves room for them to grow throughout the story.
Overall, I really like this story and I think it has a lot of potential. :D You keep your readers wanting to know the secret.
I'll be posting this one on my page for other's to read cause I enjoyed reading it so much.
hahahhaha. I love how you make her climb the stairs and she treats it like a marathon. :D And then she finds out that there's elevators. More character development, and incredible character development at that. :D
A fine black layer sits over the pink dress. The straps lead into the pleated bust with knot front. The dress falls loose from the empire line waist to the hemline that sits on the knee. A zip fastening runs down the back.
Amazing description of the dress.
I like how you compare the way Sydney feels about herself around Alex. It's obvious she has a low self esteem, which is good in a character, because it leaves room for them to grow throughout the story.
Overall, I really like this story and I think it has a lot of potential. :D You keep your readers wanting to know the secret.
I'll be posting this one on my page for other's to read cause I enjoyed reading it so much.