Virginity - Comments

I'm glad you found the comment useful, and I liked how you revised your piece. The last two paragraphs are much smoother and coherent with the story. Thank you again for entering, and the winners will be up momentarily :)

Jammiii you make me fuzzy inside :]

Hannah, my friend, this is very true.
I like the way you wrote it, as well, just like all things you write.
Now, here's my thoughts on the content of this one-shot piece:

Wow, just wow. I have to agree with you though, except the part about not remembering. I remember mine exactly, and ours happened basically opposite of each others, except the fact that it was no big deal to me, and that I found it also to be a chore.

Now that I think about it, I have nothing else to say. I think it's the fact that I'm tired, or the fact that your writing is just phenomenal, I'm not too sure, but yeah, I really liked this, and that's all I have to say for now, (:

I liked the way you set this up, with going from your not-so-memorable first time, to your best. The contrast helped sharpen the two opposing memories.

To be honest, I was a bit surprised with your conclusion. Throughout the piece you’re listing reasons why one should be sleeping with someone they trust and love, because then it’ll be memorable. Yet, your conclusion is that losing your virginity isn’t a big deal, as long as you trust them and use protection. I mean, I get the losing your virginity isn’t a big deal vibe from the experiences you recount, but it did seem a bit odd for that statement right after how sex is now a big deal to you because you love your boyfriend. ... Maybe if it just had a bit of a smoother transition, it wouldn’t seem almost out of place.

I found this a very interesting piece, and I liked how blunt it was. Good job, and good luck :cute: