Forbidden - Comments

I like this:D It's amazing. I really wish it were a book:D

Bravo!!!

The winners have been posted.

I enjoyed the rules at the beginning. It was different and in a way, it kind of reminded me of the movie/book Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk, but in a totally different way. It also reminded me of the rules you see in a few of the vampire books out right now.

Kagura... A very nice Japanese name. It's the name of character in Inuyasha, correct?

Your detail was a little shaky at first, but getting more into it, there is a lot more detail and it's very well written. I have never thought of hot air as nice unless it's really cold. But I suppose it could be cold in their little house.

There are just minor typos that aren't really a major thing. Like, "of" and "off", "and" and "as". That's all I've seen so far.

I can feel the internal battle she's having right now. I'm sure everyone has that battle with themselves... Or at least a similar one.

I think death is a little irrational... But this is a mystical land, I suppose. :)

Hmmmm.... I don't like how it just cuts off. It bothers me a bit. I would have added on just a little more. What happened to the man? What happened to Kagura? But I found it very good and enjoyable to read.

Good luck! :D

I liked it a lot, keep writing! :D