This was amazing. The mood and description was wonderful, and really conveyed emotion. I really want to know what happened, though... Beautifully written.
November 5th, 2009 at 03:13am
Story Review Game
Alright, so I'm going to try my best to give a detailed (as detailed as I can get it) and helpful review. Hope it's alright lol.
At six, I was too young for my childhood to end, but a part of it had kicked the bucket, and today was the funeral.
This was the line the got me. I absolutely loved this. Reading this, I'm immediately interested in what has happened to destroy part of this girl's childhood.
The weather matched my mood; dark clouds hung aloft, creating a harrowing ambiance.
Ambiance. Love that word.
I forget what this is called :-|
When the weather matches your mood, or reflects what's to happen... But whatever it is, it's trippy. And I like that you included it.
...and taking in the horror of it all.
Why must you continue to tempt me like this? I love how throw these little hints as to what's to come, yet at the same time, reveal nothing - but still make the reader want to read.
So I can't pick out any quotes throughout the middle that I enjoyed, just because I'd have the entire chapter copied here.
Those were the final words of the eulogy of my childhood. The funeral was over; there was nothing left to do but weep.
This almost made me tear a little.
Almost ;)
This was amazingly done. It is such a wonderful piece of writing, and I loved reading every minute of it. I love how you never actually come out and tell us that her parents have passed on, but we are still made aware of it.
So, so good. I loved it.
And I know you will do/must have done wonderful in the contest.
