Kiss The Demons Out Of My Dreams. - Comments

Aww, I really liked this. It was super cute and I just love the idea of Dean being a father because I think he would be a damn good one. And when I first read that his daughter's name was Impala, I was like 'what?' but then I realized what else could he name it? That was the perfect name for it. Ah, I thought that was so sweet and lovely. I also loved this line: He may have passed on his looks, but he wasn’t going to pass on his childhood. Beautiful! I loved this whole piece. :)

I loved it so much!!
Your writing style makes me green with envy, and your descriptions are to die for.
The story line was brilliant. :D
I think I'm gonna subscribe to one of your stories! XD

I thought this was pretty good. I’ve been trying to find some nice Supernatural fics on here. I haven’t really been looking, but I plan on it. I love Supernatural and Dean is one of the best characters ever written on TV I think, but I liked your Dean here. This AU was bittersweet because it’s just hard, for me at least picturing Dean as a daddy, but I thought you did well. I laughed a little bit when I read his daughter’s name was Impala. I don’t know.... that was just funny to me.

I would have to agree with la la la lucy]/b] on the fact about Dean's personality and your diction throughout the story. Your descriptions were one of the best factors of this story and your storytelling is very descriptive and intuitive. My favorite part in this story was when Dean thought about his life and childhood and I thought that was very realistic because parents want their children to have a better life than what they had and through Dean’s voice I felt that and it was strong. He didn’t want his daughter to become a hunter like he once was and I thought that was perfect. I can see his daughter becoming a Jo in the future because she’s going to be curious about her father’s past and want to hunt things, too. I wish this wasn't a one shot though. However, the best part was that Dean saw himself as a father first and not a hunter - beautiful.

Catchy, I did enjoy the story.
hope your other stories are as good.

Well, the first thing I noticed was the powerful language: "He tore his eyelids apart", "open gashes seeping heroes", so vivid and descriptive! 'Impala' is such a cute name, too.

One improvement you could make is the beginning of the eighth paragraph - the first sentence seems really, really long. Perhaps you could put a full stop after 'off' and a comma after 'other', so instead of reading like this;

"The shadows within the cupboard were from old teddy bears, locked away after the fascination of having a new toy had worn off and various makes of plastic dolls created a spider-like silhouette on the wall as their legs scraped against each other after being tossed into the closet without a care"

It reads like this...

"The shadows within the cupboard were from old teddy bears, locked away after the fascination of having a new toy had worn off. Various makes of plastic dolls created a spider-like silhouette on the wall as their legs scraped against each other, after being tossed into the closet without a care."

Even though I haven't watched Supernatural, I feel very drawn in to the characters in this story! You really create a strong bond between Impala and Dean. "He muttered into the top of her head before placing a single kiss on her parting," So bloody adorable! One thing I noticed is that in paragraph 9, 'Loosing' should be 'losing'.

Also, you really show Deans personality - and that's the thing I like, you show, not tell. You don't say "Dean was honourable", you write "He may have passed on his looks, but he wasn’t going to pass on his childhood. He wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy." It's a brilliant writing technique.

I really, really liked this, you did an awesome job :]

Phenomenal! :D
This is amazing. It's so cute and very realistic. I absolutely love it! I love it so much that I'm going to have to read the sequel. I'll read it when I get a better connection though, possibly tomorrow, because my connection is iffy. :P

Seriously, job well done. (:
I love the layout. I love the photo. I love the title. I love everything!

I'm spazzing with total adorable-ness and it's so fluffy- I'M GOING TO DIE!
This story is just beyond amazing. It made me breathless, it made me go "aw"
and you made me flail my hands in the air (my parents are giving me looks ._.)

“Impala?” his voice was hoarse as he called out < He named his daughter after the car!? Awwww, weird, yet I find it too adorable =^-^= I mean, in the show, you can tell he lovesloves that car and now, in your story - he names his kin after it, which just means that he'll love his daughter more than a car because Impala will give him the right devotion he'll give :)

“Daddy,” she mumbled into the covers so quietly he could barely hear her even within the dead silence. “There’s… there’s something in my closet.” < Dean's voice is damn-sexy.. Imagine his child!? She's five and she's a girl and she's a Winchester.. I can hear her sweet voice now... So sweet and child-like mixed with innocence - it's effin' adorable.. I think I'm imagining Angus from Despicable Me..

“Yes, baby girl,” He muttered into the top of her head before placing a single kiss on her parting, “What did you think it was?” < I can hear his voice just saying that and seeing him cradle her.. That very adorable child of his <3

"Daddy," her voice was muffled from the flannel shirt flung over his toned frame, "Are monsters real?" < That time of the age where we ask our parents. I never experienced that since my parents don't really speak about things I'm curious about... But just like Dean felt - my heart stopped and my eyes widened...

Two things she would later in the future ask him about. His answer to the angels question would comfort her and fill her up with hope that there’s something up there looking over the world, but the same reply to the latter would break her for life - especially if he went into the sordid details of his time down there. < My favorite... Just the way you played the words to describe two different subjects.. Well-done :) You have amazing skills, I envy you D:

All of this due to a world which a select few knew about, a dangerous world that was filled with hate, revenge and the shed of innocent blood. < Another job well-done! I lovelove how you detail.

“No darling.” He muttered staring down into the rich colouring of her irises and seeing his upbringing staring at him back, “Monsters don‘t exist.” What a twist! Because of the thoughts you put, I was expecting Dean to tell her the truth, but you played it out differently! You got me at the edge of my seat~ Kudos :DD

It was no longer his job to be a hero to the people, he had to be a hero to his daughter. < Wonderful ending. I love it :)

You got Dean's personality right and just like Muzickalgirl said, you toned it down to a fatherly gesture. It's still the same Dean, but this time in a different role - we sorta expected since he was always so caring towards Sammy ^^

YOU BUTT, That made me cry like a damn girl! I loved it, you kept everything that I love about Dean plus showed a side that is not portrayed in the show! BRAVO!

I really like this. It's simply amazing! And the name... Perfect! Haha

I really like how you made Dean protect his daughter from the life he had. And I can really imagine Dean being a dad because he always took care of Sam and was protective of him.

Great job on this!

One of your bests yet!!!

You kept Dean's personality and yet managed to tone some elements down in favor a fatherly gesture. I liked that you compared him to John, which is something he often does anyway. But oh my goodness, did I laugh at that girl's name. He would. He so would. This is legend when it comes to jumping decades in a TV timeline. Great job.

I was going to review this about a week ago, I guess that went out the window, here is your review, free of charge.

(Please don't judge me for my amateur-like review)

“Dean’s senses were suddenly alert from their slumber” I like how you use personification with his senses, and a perfect opening for this type of story. Already the tension and suspense is building within the first sentences, right now it would be idiotic to not read on. So far two adjectives have stuck with me: In the second sentence, ”He tore his eyelids apart,” and, “He peeled the bedcovers. . .” I can’t explain it that well but it just creates this amazing atmosphere; one liners that just knock you dead.

I’m not sure about this ‘10 years ago’ thing, that must have been in the prequel which I haven’t read, also in a way it could be better because it creates even more mystery for me, and father Dean? :cute:

“She looked up at him through green eyes that were identical to his, a few strands of feathery brown hair falling into their vibrant colour.” Again :yah the picture that this forms in my head is like I’m in the story watching it unfold.

In paragraph 5 you need to replace grow with grew :shifty

“Images of every single terror he had faced . . .with the tainted oxygen breathed in by evil.” From this I imagined every single episode I have ever watched, from Jessica’s death to Johns, exactly how Dean would see it in the story. Impala is a beautiful name too.

“his veins leaving violet trails along the strained skin and his eyes jittered backwards and forth between the shadows looking for anything out of place, something that didn’t belong." How do you keep doing this?! Just these lines make me want to write out a novel to try and equal up to it, I guess I’m just a sucker for the word violet in anything :XD

“no scent of sulphur and the electrics in the house had been working fine like the first day they moved into the house.” This is showing that Dean could never really forget about his old life; he is still thinking like a hunter, and always will do. Somehow the following paragraphs remind me of the time where Dean had the choice whether to tell Sam is monsters were real; now he has the choice again, but with his daughter.

I hate giving negative grammar advise, because I don’t want to be wrong :tehe: But I’m going to take a shot at this: I think the lines “cause minds to become unstable - and he knew the truth about the question. . .” could be put better, either delete the ‘and’ after the hyphen for more flow, or replace the hyphen with a full stop and delete the ‘and.’ (Don’t shoot me for this)

As for the rest of the story I cannot actually think of any words to describe how amazing it is, I am truly speechless.

“It was no longer his job to be a hero to the people, he had to be a hero to his daughter.” The best finish that could possibly happen. Will Dean finally give it all up for his daughter? Why am I asking you, it’s your story :tehe:

Lee was right about your writing, it is just legendary, this piece will stick in my head forever, thank you for writing it. :arms:

I know it's been said before, but Vee, this was amazing!
Adorable. Perfectly written!
Best thing I've read in ages :3

Akjbndgjkndhklmngh .... :cheese:
Ohmypants, Vee this is amazing :yah
It was so cute, and you are so damn talented :grr: :XD

--

"Daddy," her voice was muffled from the flannel shirt flung over his toned frame, "Are monsters real?"

and

“No darling.” He muttered staring down into the rich colouring of her irises and seeing his upbringing staring at him back, “Monsters don‘t exist.”

It was no longer his job to be a hero to the people, he had to be a hero to his daughter.

So damn adorable :tehe:
Those were my favourite parts :shifty

I don't think I can put into words how amazing I think this is.

It's stories like this that make my day. Even if it's night right now.

Just...wow.

One Shot For One Shot

This was...:cheese:

I'm don't really know about the fandom, but I absolutely loved it. It was extremely well-written and I could imagine each scenario.

My only small criticism would be that there wasn't enough description of Dean, except for that he passed on his looks to his daughter. But, since I don't really know Dean, maybe it's just me. :tehe:

This is definitely one of the best oneshots I've read in a while. Amazing job. :cute:

:cheese: That must be one the best one-shots I've read in such a long time.

Only :cheese: can explain your story.

I loved it.
Very well written.
I loved how his daughters name was "Impala".
I could imagine him fighting with his wife over the naming.
The last line practically made me cry.
That's definitely hard to beat.
:D

Awwww! This was so adorable! I loved it!

PS-Impala...dude I laughed so hard at that. Could totally see Dean doing that. But it's cute. :tehe:

VEE!
"...he had to be a hero to his daughter!" Made me squee so much! And naming her Impala = genius.
AND ADDED SLEEPY DEAN! I love this so much.
Him being a daddy is incredible

And thanks for the ded, YOU'RE FREAKING AWESOME, DUDE :arms