Breathe - Comments

That was really powerful, Casey. I absolutely adored it. :]
And have I mentioned that you are a fantastic writer? Well you are.

Oh, I love you.
Ha, I had to add that.

Whoa, you should win.
If you do not, I shall throw a violent fit and start a
riot in the streets. Don't think I will?
Just watch.

First off, I enjoyed this. The idea is original and would be a good one to use for a story.
But there isn't really an ending to this. There's the hook, a little of the line, but no sinker.
It's not really a big deal when you're dealing with chapters to a story, but one-shots need a sturdy ending.
It's something I myself sometimes struggle with too, so you're not alone.
Other than that, it was nice. I liked the girl, and her mother, though not a very nice woman, intrigued me. Like, does she have a story? Some, heart wrenching moment that changed her into this woman?
Good job.

That was really fantastic.
I loved the whole theme with breathing and the smoke.
It was beautifully worked out, especially the ending.

ps. I'm glad my momma ain't like that.

Wow! That was amazing!
"She took drags on cigarettes and blew out the details of her dreams."
I loved that line. It was so creative.
You are definitely a talented writer. (:

Wow! I really liked this! Very well written; you have a good sense of detail as well. Hm..I hope that doesn't sound weird!

Anyway, two thumbs up!