First off, I enjoyed this. The idea is original and would be a good one to use for a story. But there isn't really an ending to this. There's the hook, a little of the line, but no sinker. It's not really a big deal when you're dealing with chapters to a story, but one-shots need a sturdy ending. It's something I myself sometimes struggle with too, so you're not alone. Other than that, it was nice. I liked the girl, and her mother, though not a very nice woman, intrigued me. Like, does she have a story? Some, heart wrenching moment that changed her into this woman? Good job.
Wow! That was amazing! "She took drags on cigarettes and blew out the details of her dreams." I loved that line. It was so creative. You are definitely a talented writer. (:
And have I mentioned that you are a fantastic writer? Well you are.