Soft Death - Comments

This is very good. I feel like there could have been a bit more description with his actual illness and what was happening to him in the present, but I probably would have used the same amount you did.

The flow in your stories is always very good, and I'm impressed with it. Again, though, I spotted a few grammar lapses as I went through. Nothing big. Probably more of a typo than actual lack of knowledge of grammar. From what you've shown me with these stories, you know grammar.

Great job!

holy crap!! they should use this for those non smoking adds.. like i swear to gawd.. thats how amazign it is :)

I like this very much. It's well-written, has good elements (who wouldn't be sorry or pissed with a teenage boy dying in a hospital because he made wrong choices?), and an all over good plot. The characters aren't bleak, but they don't seem overplanned either. I imagine them as being real people in a fucked up situation.

I give this entry four out of five dancing monkeys :XD

Oh and, sorry for this late comment.

This is awesome :D It's not all tradgic, but a really simple yet captivating story :D

This is really good. It's not a cliche death or anything. I like it.
On the other hand, you had some spelling mistakes. A handful, but not a ton. I'm going to make an exception and let you clean it up, because I like this entry so much and I just don't want to disqualify you.

Please PM me when you get it done and I will give you another comment :cute: