Runaway - Comments

I really love the way you describe things and such, your a good writer and I love the story concept.

beautiful layouts.
I agree with double kill.

(typing from my phone)

I thought it was just me who had a hard time with the layout/font 'cuz I was doing it from my phone... But apparently not. But that's irrelevant.

I read chapter three (because you suggested it) and one of the major things I saw was line spacing. I think you should space dialogue out because it makes it easier on the eyes. Some grammar mistakes here and there, but I could deal with those. Like what others stated, I love the choppiness because hell, that's YOUR style and it just adds a certain effect.

A little cliche at some points, but what isn't a cliche nowadays?

Keep up the writing and I can't wait to see improvement over the next few chapters!

I love this, well done.
There's a few problems with it and a lot of clichéd things in it but aside from that I love it.
Keep writing.

It's okay. There are problems with it - as previously stated. The plot and the narration style are what's pulling me in - I adore the choppiness of it and the plot seems pretty realistic for most part. Sometimes there seems to be a lapse into kinda clichés - mostly when you spend a lot of time describing her clothes and hair, that was a bit of a turn off, y'know?

But, I think with some work it will live to it's potential.

Also loving the Welshness. XD

The font can be a bit smaller but meh... you've already been told that.
A little typo in the summary page; transitional, I think, is what you mean?
Your whole story's realistic, so that's a definite plus.
And you hold the second narration down better than I ever can.
Just a little suggestion; re-check on spelling and grammar. There's nothing too major but enough to ruffle a few Grammar Nazi feathers :)

Anyway, great work!

-random-
You spell Mum with a U! Yay! Most people on here spell it with O so... yeah.
Completely random.

:D You have a really interesting style to your writing. It's something I haven't seen before, and I like it. The plot is also really good. :) Keep up the good work, my friend. I think this could be one hell of a story. [I just read the first two chapters. Going back now to finish up and subscribe :)]

Like silk tea., I think the big font is a little bit too big. You should probably make it smaller, nothing over 100 would look okay.

The plot is very interesting, and the way you write is definitely different. Your style is very choppy and short, and doesn't flow particularly well, but it's very interesting. :3

The huge font totally threw me off. It's like reading those books for the visually impaired.
Or those child books where there's like two sentences per page.
So my recommendation is to minimize the font.
It'd be so much more appealing.

The plot of this is interesting.
I feel that you could work on your flow.
And definitely on your vocabulary.
But otherwise, it's got potential.

..You write wonderfully. I like the plot, the concept of it all.
The characters are realistic in my opinion and one can relate to each of them :)

I'm starting to like it already :)
I just finished reading Chapter 1 and your writing is very interesting.
The flow, the words, the way it just goes down to it - very lovely.

I'm going to read Chapter 2 now :)

This is actually really interesting. Normally, 2nd person stories make me kind of nervous, but it was really really good. I like your descriptions so far (I read to chapter 2), and it seems like you've really put a lot of thought into this.

:)

I love the style of writing, it's cute. :-)
Also I really like the characters, they seem very likeable.
Update soon :-)

This was really good. Your flow of writing turns into directions that make your story seem more realistic and genuine. Overall, the plot seems very good too and it seems you've thought about it rather than simply writing chapters as you go on.

I also really liked your summary. It made me want to keep reading.

A few grammar issues, but nothing major. I like the plot, and now that the backstory's is coming into play it's even better. I'm definitely going to keep reading to get the whole story behind her (or me, I appreciate a story in second-person) running away. The characters are a little undeveloped, but again, nothing major, and I think it'll make more sense to me later on down the line. The font's giving me kind of headache, but I like your story and I think I'll subscribe :)

I'm sorry if I'm being too much of critic, habit :P

i think the relationship is beliveable :)
ur a realy good at writing i loved chapter 10 the style of writing and all ...
erm yea please write more or i will steal all your cookies and ur skittles \/**\/ mwhahahaha

I've read part 11 it is brillient i love it. Keep on writing bubs =)

No problem Abi I read part 10 its really good your writing style is brilliant =)

Are they? Thanks for pointing that out Ja-Ja

Its really Good Abi i love your story, but chapter 8 and 9 are the same. Apart from that they are great.