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Is The Story of us a Twisted Fate? - Comments

  • SarahF

    SarahF (200)

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    I think this could be a really cute story if you would just SLOW DOWN.
    You seem to be rambling on in your story even though it's not long.
    You need more details about characters, about senery.
    Describe the feelings of your blushing girl.
    Make it more interesting with details and I think it'll be great.
    September 28th, 2009 at 12:03am
  • Ordinary

    Ordinary (100)

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    sounds pretty cute :)
    update soon!
    September 26th, 2009 at 03:01am
  • violentine's day

    violentine's day (100)

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    You might want to change your background, it's very hard to read.
    September 26th, 2009 at 02:24am
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