Attention, Attention! - Comments

That was beautiful. <3

Great use of the lyrics. I caught myself singing them in my head.

wow
see, this is why i read your writing, it always blows me away

Randomer, but this is very well written (:
I really liked this. Especially the ending.
Never before have I read a story where the man tells the women to say 'no' to his proposal.
It was very unexpected, very shocking, and altogether perfect.
Congrats! (:

Oops, sorry for all of those spelling mistakes in my last post, sorry!

Awsome job on fitting the song and picture into your story.

I like how you described the chararacters and very good descriptions also.

Good job on using the song lyrics with the story, it all fits in just perfect!

I like the twist in your story, that Scott is telling her to say no.

Great job, good luck!

The new story comment layout is throwing me off :shock:

First off, thanks a bunch for getting the entry in on time. Bonus points :)

Your one-shot tied perfectly with the picture and the song, kudos.

At first, when I read the first paragraph, I almost thought Scott was Cassa's ex-boyfriend, the way you described how her eyes followed him while he was mingling.

The descriptions you made on the character appearances was well done. Subtlety done, I should say. I appreciate it when writers sort of mix in the character descriptions within the paragraphs instead of using an entire, separate paragraph to describe their looks.

When Scott got up on the stage and said 'If only for one second', it made me smile. Good use of a song lyric within your writing.

Aww. That's cute, telling Cassa to look. The 'lovely redhead up here blushing like a rose' part was adorable as well. I almost expected you to say 'tomato' instead.

Don't we all hate it when boyfriends flirt with other girls and not be aware of it? It's a slappable crime.

Ah, Scott's proposing!

It seems unusual for a guy to say 'it broke me inside' or 'I thought my heart had fallen out'. I always had the possibly misguided concept of men never speaking of their feelings in that way, if at all.

But wait, what is he doing?! :O He's telling her to say no? That was unexpected. But it's even sweeter for him to ask her to refuse.

I feel like cooing at this point.

"Scott, what time is it?"

"Time for me to change and be the man you deserve."

^ That was a good line.

Excellent work, good luck!