When God Made You He Was Showing Off. - Comments

blood.sex.and booze (100)

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I would love for an update! I'm loving this story. I want to know what's up with the voice. :)

December 29th, 2011 at 09:42am

pjfunnbunny (100)

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Age:: 29
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please update soon :D

June 22nd, 2011 at 04:11am

EmmyTheStrange7 (100)

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Age:: 27
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I am LOVING this story! :D

May 23rd, 2011 at 10:27am

duckyluvr19 (100)

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Age:: 32
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I'm in love with this story! Please keep updating!

January 15th, 2011 at 06:37pm

Let Love Guide You. (100)

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Age:: 32
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I really like this :))

January 5th, 2011 at 08:00pm

acelticdream (100)

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Age:: 50
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Overall, I am enjoying the concept of the story. I've been reading A LOT of TrueBlood/SVM fan fics and frankly, I've gotten a little tired of Sookie ... but never of Eric *grins* .... so your story is doing me a world of good. *winks*

Now for some ideas.

We need a little more background on Thundr. Why that name? What exactly is her ability/gift? Was it something she was aware of and using most of her life, or something that started when she came to Bon Temps in the summer? Most or all of this can be answered by padding out the 1st chapter a bit more.

Also need to describe her appearance ... is she attractive in Vampire standards, like Sookie is (albeit Sookie's fairy essence helps with attraction) ... does Thundr do the whole "emo" look since she is forever carrying her tunes with her like some do (though I do understand the reason she does it)?

I like the mysteriousness of the disembodied voice in her head and the colored orbs. Might need a bit more clarification on which color expresses which emotion, as red is typical of anger/hatred and black for sickness/death/evil. But I like the build-up you are doing with these things. Something is altering how Thundr typically feels whatever gift she has, experiencing something new with it. Does this only happen in regards to Vampires, or with humans also? That goes back to what history she has with her gift that I had mentioned earlier.

Did Eric take her virginity since she's only 17? One or two words on that scene might make all that clear.

Thundr and Rayn ... cute. Can you describe Rayn a bit more? Remember when introducing people/characters that are not familiar to your readers, you have to really describe them so we can share in your visions of them.

Please do continue with this story. It holds much promise and I'm highly interested on where you take the concepts and situations you have introduced us to.

April 17th, 2010 at 06:33am