Heroes...And The Rest Of Us. - Comments

So I've only read the first three chapters, but the story is well built. I like the way you built Sophie as a character. I'm glad that Adam and Sophie share the same kind of hatred for their biological mothers. I know that Adam is trying not to relapse, but i have a really big feeling that he's going to end up relapsing.

All I have is praise for this story, however, the layout is kind of hard on my eyes It may just be the fact that I have really bad eyes.

i just read my wedding chapter and it made my night haha. I miss this one so much sometimes.

Awe babe, it was amazing. i can't wait for the sequel :)

Well polyvore is being stupid so i cant see the outfit, but other than that the chapter was really cute. I'm really sorry i didn't read it yesterday, i feel really shittty about that. :( But, i really loved the chapter a lot and i can't wait for more. i'm sad it's ending but i understand.

That one was just too cute <3 <3 <3

I love how the fact that he's off the map lol

:) I liked the chapter. I'm so happy adam is back! i missed him haha. :) and I think Jack and Nikki need to cool off a little , but you know, whatevs. :) And by the way, that is just mean. Austin and I didn't do anything worth needing revenge! ur such a horrible person, sophie and adam are horrible, thinking about doing that to us. psh. :) I love my Austin :) I want a boy :) u should have figured out what i want to name it by now haha :)

I just remembered i'm supposed to be having a baby in this...hmm

in their bed?! that is so sick and creepy!! i liked the chapter tho. it was really good. im glad adam will be back soon. more soon?

Dude, I could totally see her kicking the door open and saying "Yo (&(^&(&, what the ^$^$% is &^%^%$# going on here?!"

Oh wait that would be me but still, a-%^$^%%#$-mazing. (Sorry for all the symbols, I kinda got in trouble for typing what I would actually say....)

It was such a sweet chapter, I was smiling the whole time! It was amazing. The part where they were at Waffle House was funny. I loved the whole thing. It was so sweet and pretty. I've missed all the guys and them just being sweet and silly. Great chapter. More soon!

Awe, it was super sweet babe. I have missed them a lot too. I was laughing when they were at Waffle House, espcially the ranch on the nose thing, that was great. More soon?

Awe, it was so sweet! I'm so happy they are back together for a little while! It was such a beautiful chapter haha....and you know, sex is always amazing. I'm sorry baby that i didn't read it yesterday i didn't know you'd updated :( i'm a horrible inlaw

yay! They are back together! Finally! I missed Adam and the rest of the guys. How long are you going to keep them around? The part on the plane was funny. Uh, this comment sucks bananas. lol. I loved the whole thing. I can't wait for more! Yay! :) More soon! Lovers you! huggles and kissles!

it was funny! i loved it. and just so you know...ky warming gel gets hot....really hot. I wont tell you how i know that. I was laughing when she was being licked by her sister, it was funny. More soon?

I loved it sooo much!!! That part with Liv was so fucking funny, I was laughing my ass off. Jack is a gross pig. haha. I miss Adam too. I didn't think I would miss him so much, but I do. It's so cool that she gets to go see him. I can't wait! More soon? I love you!

i loved the chapter, it was super awesome! :) really funny...even tho i hardly spoke. omg i would have punched her in the face if she'd been saying those things to me in the car like she was about my austin and his dick. and awe, poor jack, that wasn't very nice haha. :) more soon?

OMG, I loved it! It was hysterical. When they were talking about Jack getting laid, that was hilarious. I kind of felt bad for him, but he has a bad attitude, maybe he needs to get laid. lmao. Great chapter. I love Shaun and Daisy, they made that chapter! lol. More soon. Oh and I love that miltary shirt in the link.

Story Review

(Chapter 1)

I love the title. I don't know why, I just really do love it. But, "Hero's" should be "Heroes."

I really love tattoo's. 'tattoo's' should be just 'tattoos,' no apostrophe needed. Also, I actually really like how you opened the story with an explanation of the character's tattoos rather than an action. I like that. Actions get boring as openings.

"...were not related in any way." The 'were' should be 'we're.'

"...so that when I flip someone off, their right there with me." The first 'their' should be 'they're.' I love how I've only read two paragraphs of this story and I already know nothing except that the character has extremely strong ties with their family. And I love the sentence about them being right there with her. That's excellent that that's the first thing you make very evident.

Careful with the punctuation in the dialogue. In the sentence "Too late to turn back now, Sophie" (and many others) you need a period in the inside of the quotations.

Mike's father, filled with grief, turned to the bottle, and never came back. Love this sentence. <3

He moved into our house when he was sixteen, And my parents finished Marty's job. No need to capitalize "And" here.

When the character is describing her past, the relaxed vibe it gives off is very impressive. For example, the line To say we didn't get along was the understatment of the year. is so just... casual and shows a lot about the character's personality. Btw, understatement is misspelled. There's an 'e' in there.

She laughs "Well, I want to see your tattoo's, I think you need to get your but over here and show me before you go to work" Period after laughs, and after work.

My turn to laugh "Alright, I'll be right over" Period after laugh, and over.

I hang up and walk over to Mike, who's hanging out in the living room, texting. I put my arms around him and say.

"I'm going over to Daisy's" Comma after say, and the dialogue doesn't have to be a new paragraph.

I don't bother knocking, that's a right you receive when you've known someone since they were sixteen. I love that line, mostly because it's totally true and really shows the tight relationship between Daisy and the main character. I know I don't knock at my good friend's houses!

She's about 5'2 on a good day, dyed blonde, has way more tattoo's than I do and is pretty much a trainwreck, but she's my trainwreck, I love her, and she would do pretty much anything for me. Bit of a run-on sentence. Add a period after the second "trainwreck" and carry on with the next sentence as it is.

"Good" Short pause "Good" He says and looks at me. Period after "Short pause" and after each "Good."

Totally dumbounded. I think you mean "dumbfounded."

That was really excellent. Opening chapters are so usually boring and just information, but so much happened in this! You really got to know the character's background and her relationships with the people around her. You had some great, beautiful lines. The only major problem was some punctuation. Just remember, every sentence in quotes needs some kind of end punctuation, and that ALL dialogue tags need punctuation as well.

Fantastic job, m'dear!

i loved it. it was a nice little chapter. yeah, the thing about the butterflies made me sad too. WOOOO i get to be in the next chapter! fuck yes!!!!! :D More soon?

Ok, first of all that last part about the butterflies was so sad! Wahh. Ok, second, Shaun was smoking pink cigarettes? That was hilarious. I could totally see that actually. I can't wait for the next chapter with the party. That should be a lot of fun. The whole chapter was awesome! More soon babe!!