The Sacrificial Virgin - Comments

First of all, I'd like to point out a few minor errors here and there - you should try reading it over. Simple mistakes like "the" instead of "they", "there" instead of "their", etc.

He turned his back on her to face the crowd. He hushes them with a wave of his hand. "Hushes" is grammatically incorrect here; it should be "hushed". I feel you should try combining these two sentences. Maybe something like, He turned his back on her to face the crowd, hushing them with a wave of his hand.

Anyway, this story was interesting. It wasn't too out-of-the-world for me to the point that I couldn't understand it, but I've never actually read a story like this on Mibba. It was simple, yet somewhat unique, and not too gruesome, either.

Mm, I like how she stared into his eyes and switched bodies - it's got that supernatural feel to it. And this is one of my favorite lines: "He talked about the gods and their mercy. If they were so merciful, she thought, why couldn’t they help her?"

All in all, good job. x]

First of all, I'd like to point out a few minor errors here and there - you should try reading it over. Simple mistakes like "the" instead of "they", "there" instead of "their", etc.

He turned his back on her to face the crowd. He hushes them with a wave of his hand. "Hushes" is grammatically incorrect here; it should be "hushed". I feel you should try combining these two sentences. Maybe something like, He turned his back on her to face the crowd, hushing them with a wave of his hand.

Anyway, this story was interesting. It wasn't too out-of-the-world for me to the point that I couldn't understand it, but I've never actually read a story like this on Mibba. It was simple, yet somewhat unique, and not too gruesome, either.

Mm, I like how she stared into his eyes and switched bodies - it's got that supernatural feel to it. And this is one of my favorite lines: "He talked about the gods and their mercy. If they were so merciful, she thought, why couldn’t they help her?"

All in all, good job. x]

Very well written. I like how you ended it, without telling us anything more than you said. It brings a lot of things into someone mind on what is going to happen next, even though it won't be written. But, well done!

I like it.
Very good; and not mainstream at all.
Well done!!

This was really weird...but enjoyable to read! I liked it. :)