Need You Now - Comments

I liked this one too! It was good, sad at first, but a good happy ending!!! YAY, for happy endings!!

Thanks for the feedback, and I actually totally forgot that you have to use HTML codes with stories on here to get them italicized. Sorry.

Alright, so here it goes. I've finally decided to buckle down and review the entries I've been given so far.

Katla Jacobs sat on her bedroom floor, three years of memories scattered around her.
I reconize this from the first line of the song.
I like the name too. Katla. It's really different, and unique. I like it.

One thing I feel I should point out is that, when you dive into the flashbacks, if you had italicized them, or something to make them different, to let me know that it is a flashback, it would have been much easier to read.

He’d long since given up the shot glass.
Oh :(
I really liked this line. It really made you see how this has affected him, and just how often he's turned to the bottle to comfort him.

Her heart leapt in her chest when she opened it to find a soaking wet Jimmy.
I'm not a fan of this line... :/
There's something about it that just seems so... cliche?

The sex scene was nice.
Written very nicely.
But I have to say, it wasn't really...
It's not really a scene that will stick with me.

*Once the throes
Should be Once the throws.

Overall, I thought this was an alright piece of work. I have to admit that this isn't really a piece that will stick with me, but it was well-written.

Good luck with the contest, I'm sure you'll do fine.

-Saviour