Boy Like Me. - Comments

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! ^.^

YOU HAVE TO UPDATE SOON! I come back and check everyday to see if you do. I really want to know what happens with ryan, his sister and liam! Please update!

Update soon. I wanna know if Liam and Ryan's sister find him and can get him to come home. It's really amazing. Please, please, please. ;)

Update soon. I wanna know if Liam and Ryan's sister finds him and can get him to come home. It's really amazing. Please, please, please. ;)

I really loved it. And it's amazing that you put someone as selfless as Liam in your story. WE NEED MORE UPDATES!!! I want to finish the story so badly. lol I just started reading yesterday too and I'm already at chapter 34. Please update!

moreMOREmoreMORE!
I'm getting restless here.

(:

Omg. I really love this story. I love the characters and plot. It's great and I can't stop reading. Please please please update. I love it. ;)

This is a beautiful story. I can't wait to see what happens next.

I forgot something...

UPDATE SOON.
iloveyou

Ooh, ooh!

Haha, Liam should go to Ben's house and just be like 'Guess who came over today?'

Oh please write the next chapter soon
this is just to great

MERRY CHRISTMAS
*gives u a present*

AHH!
You have to write and update those chapters, like, right now!
Please? :D
I would be so happy.
She came to find her brother (:
*teary eyed*
I'm so happy.
Now they need to make up. And have more hot steamehh sexy time.
:D

Okay, anyways, I love this story, and would love it if you updated soon. (:

I hope they find him! (:
update soon?
<33

I really like this story.
can't wait for an update XD

I think the plot is really good, but the writing could use some editing. Please, don't take this the wrong way, I'm trying to help.

First, commas are your friend! Use them liberally!
Example: "...He introduced holding out his hand for her to shake. At first she hesitated and then smiled warmly taking his hand." should be: "...he introduced, holding out his hand for her to shake. At first, she hesitated, then smiled warmly, taking his hand."
I've seen lots of places where you could have used a few more commas, but it's nothing too noticeable by someone who's not a Grammar Nazi (I am, by the way)

Second, branch out with your adjectives, and don't use so many of them!
Example: Many, many times, you refer to Ryan as "the spiky-haired teen," and Liam as "the shaggy-haired teen." We KNOW what their hair looks like, you've told us before, and we also know that they're teenagers, otherwise, they wouldn't be in high school. Just use their names, it doesn't need to be fancy.

Which brings me to my third point: Don't worry about making your sentences so complex. I've noticed that in a few of them, it doesn't seem like the sentence ended the way you wanted it to when you first started it. You don't need to put five different actions into the same sentence. It makes it drag on, and personally, I don't like when stories drag.
Example: "'Thank you,' he said entering the house seeing the huge Christmas tree in the corner beside the fireplace. The couches facing the wide screen TV in the other corner of the room the beautiful blue-gray drapes framing the huge windows out looking on their front yard." Did you intend to have the the couches and drapes doing something? You could have said, "...entering the house. There was a huge Christmas tree in the corner beside the fireplace, a few couches facing the wide-screen TV in the other corner of the room, and beautiful blue-gray drapes framing the huge windows that looked out on their front yard." Of course, I suppose that's still a matter of grammar, isn't it?

Fourth, and last, proofread, proofread, proofread!
You seem to have a lot of typos, and that could be fixed with a simple read-through of what you've typed before you post it. It'll make you look like an even better writer! (You're great to begin with!)

So again, I really don't intend to be rude or mean or anything by this, I'm only trying to offer constructive criticism to help make your story better! :-) Keep writing!

Oh no! I have to know more!
Poor Ryan. Poor..poor everyone.
I hope that Ryan is reunited with his sister.
And that he realizes how much he loves Liam.
Update? D:
Please?

NOOO. WHY'D YOU STOP THERE?!?! D:
i'm so upset now. D':

NOOOO! So close.

Oh my, my my my my
i hope everything works out alright
oh please update soon
and merry christmas, for the 25th

Psh, what a rude dude. Lol, that rhymed.
I think I like the mommy person.
She seemed a little bit nicer. :D