Late Storm - Comments

I agree with Phantom. up there ^^. This story is great so far.

But... stupid cliffhanger! -sigh-

Oh... I just realized this was last updated a month ago. Are you planning on continuing it? I'd really like to read more. :]

xoxox Adalia (Here I am! Haha...)

awesomeness

This story really grabs me attention. It's definiatly something that I am going to subscribe to. The emotion in this is amazing, and reallly makes you feel like part of the story. Does that make sense? Hah, who cares. Basically what I am trying to say is that you are great writer : ) Well done my friend.

Bella slowed her pace once she reached the park and sat down on a damp bench. She heard thunder roll in the distance, and put her aching head in her hands. And what did she plan to do when the rain started? She'd never be so lucky as to have the storm miss her. She had nowhere to take shelter, no one to confide in. The thunder was getting closer, and she could now see flashes of white light in the sky. She sat up staight and looked around for a tree or something to rest under. Nothing, of course. This town couldn't afford to take care of its people, let alone its parks.

I think the first sentence really gives a great insight on the characters, and the whole background of the story. Your plot is extremely stable already, which is a great thing for readers. It's comforting not to have a million different things happening all at once. You give just enough information to let us digest whats going on.

I think this is going to shape up into a fantastic story. [Not like it isn't now!] You're writing skills are superb, you can really deliver a good character backdrop without really giving a character backdrop. Hehe.

I can already tell that even though the description might be a little shaky, and you might have changed from third to first person, this story is a winner. Great job!

This is good. I agree with Spaztastic. Your descriptions are amazing. :)

This seems like an interesting story. I don't know what's quite going on, but that's the reason I'm going to keep reading.
I like the way you descripe things.

very good start, it's interesting and well-written, I think you really have something here, I look forward to more :D *Subscribes*

that was some deep stuff
nice job.

woah.... very interesing!!

^Gah, I do that a lot. =[
Thanks for the comment ^_^

Ooohhh good start. But it mysteriously changes from third to first person at the end...

I like it so far though. :D The descriptions are great..