The Feeling of Saving - Comments

  • I Eat Staples

    I Eat Staples (100)

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    First off, I want to say that you have almost no spelling mistakes, but quite a few grammar mistakes. i.e.
    It was a beautiful morning, Sora was taking his usual stroll through the park. Suddenly, everyone started running the opposite way he was walking.

    I also think that it's lacking some more intricate words. Another way you could improve is by showing the reader everything that's happening, not telling them. You say what happens rather than describe it. But you have potential.
    May 18th, 2010 at 03:47pm
  • Nicolai

    Nicolai (100)

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    Russian Federation
    Go JJ! :D -highfives- woo!
    January 16th, 2010 at 04:51am
  • Invader Spiffy

    Invader Spiffy (140)

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    Cool :)
    January 10th, 2010 at 01:53am