This Is Usually The Part Where People Scream - Comments

i liked this slash, amazing job on the layout!

I digg it.=) I think you need to write a lonnnnnng story with these two. Or Shawn & Shane.;)

It was good, you followed the prompt amazingly, thank you. (:
With the sex part, I like how you didn't overload on details, but you also seemed to skip around a little much. Like, they went from the cab to Shawn's room, without ever getting out. You shouldn't have to write out their exact moves, but some kind of transition would make it less confusing.
Overall, I think the story was great. Thanks for your entry! (:
And the layout's beautiful. :3

I found this rather amusing but also quite sweet. I can see you put a lot of thought into it and it flowed nicely, and structurally it was a good balance between interaction and description. Although there was a lot of 'action', it wasn't terribly crude, which is often so hard to avoid! Jeremy's POV was an interesting end! Good job on this.