Cut up Angels - Comments

This was amazing... In a disturbingly beautiful kindo of way.
I love the way it's written.
Simply amazing. XD

Wow. This was...beautiful...in a way. But, extremely disturbing in another.
This really was amazing. It's truly a feat when something is so interesting, even my ADHD mind can concentrate.
This was beautifully described, amazingly detailed, and worded perfectly.
I usually quote a whole bunch of shit and say how beautiful it was, but, honestly, the entire thing was beautiful.
I love this.
I'm definitely gonna read some more of your stuff.
Great job.
:D

wow this is described beautifully. I love how I can feel Bert's impending madness with each sentence, it's as if I am him, hearing voices and clawing away at hallucinations.
This truly was a beautiful one-shot, different and grabbing. I loved it!

He'd flinched as he took each step, as if he were being hit with a hundred knives the closer he got, and this room- this room was the gallows.
^^ I really liked that sentence. I like the use of the words, especially gallows, it makes it that more intriguing and thought provoking and all.

His eyes brows furrowed together,
^^eye

he could see nor sense no light
^^ Judging by the last part of the sentence, were you meant to say: he could see no light?

He used his arms to find a corner in one of walls and began to
^^ to find a corner in one of the

but it were not
^^ wasn't or was not. 'were not,' doesn't match the flow you've got going on.

He looked up the outline of two people on the ground could be seen.
^^ He looked up,

There whole relationship soon fell with their spirits
^^ Their

A light blinded Bert and he found himself another room.
^^ found himself in another

to see an exact copy of him leaned up against
^^ leaning

e knew her family were restraining themselves from killing her
^^ him instead of 'her.'

of the cupboards of searching
^^ get rid of the second 'of.'

were dressed there best,
^^ their

I think that was powerful. :] I liked it. I really did. I liked how at the end, his attitudes turned for the better. I'm not sure I can say anything else :] But I did enjoy reading it. :]

Blood and stitches? Niiiice O_O
This is freakin' awesome (:
/sounds like a frat boy

dude
you're freakin' amazing.
i love this <3

I loved it. It was a little dark, but we got to see inside Bert's head which always makes me happy. Hmm... Brocchali.... Lol, loved the story though.

I approve of this story so don't say it was crap. You have a strong writing style, and a good plot. The only thing is you missed some punctuation at the end of your dialog. Which you should go back to fix, but you don't have to. I mean, it didn't really take away from the story, but I am an editor so I notice these little things. Overall, though, very well written.

This was really amazing

Second: I'm a pretty big fan of The Used, so this story touched me someplace inside because there was an ACTUAL person attached to the character name and not just someone who lives inside of the heads and hearts of the readers and creator.
I know Bert has issues with drugs, and you got that across beautifully.
Excellent job.

First off: Awwwwww.
Though there was a thick level of disturbing imagery, there was also a layer of love and hope that shined through all the layers of grimy disturbia. The last paragraph was beautiful and understated, but it gave a cathartic feeling of resolution.

The only thing I didn't like about this was the lyrics in the summary.
I just don't really enjoy that, it's not exactly visually appealing to me.
But then again, that's just me.

Now the story, the story was great.
Like I've said before you've got a very talented style.
It was very...abnormal.
And scary.
And I enjoyed that a lot.

Thank you so much; that means a lot.
Yeah, I was holding back knowing my younger sister wanted to read it too. xD

Thank you so much; that means a lot.
Yeah, I was holding back knowing my younger sister wanted to read it too. xD

It was really creepy.
The stitches and blood and stuff made me a bit...erg...

But it was great. I wish I could write like you. Your descriptions and phrases are amazing... :O

The only suggestion I have really is to make the font more readable.

But anyway, very good writing. xx