The Perfect Lover - Comments

This was very sexy and seductive and I liked it a lot. Your tone matched your writing pretty well. This is short and sweet, but you get the point across in a way that makes sense to the situation. I'm pretty sure you could have added more to this if you wanted. But I'm going to have to agree with what everyone else said about how creative your writing style is. My favorite line in this would have to be this: I do not live in the moment as I think of tomorrow morning; of where we shall end up once the sun awakens. A perfect woman asks me to love her, and my first instinct is to decline. Well written and beautiful.

I have to say that I loved this. It was unique and so wonderfully written. Your style of description is simply incredible and different in that sense, and it brought the reader into the story rather than having them simply watching the events in the story go on.
I love how you made the identity of the speaker completely undefned, it brought more ways of thinking to the reader, and allowed the story to be taken in many different ways, which is a good thing for any and every story out there.
A perfect woman asks me to love her, and my first instinct is to decline.
I like this line so much, because of it's tone. The narrator is sort of scolding themself, like speaking to themself sarcastically as if to say "Really? Come on." I'm not sure if that was what you were aiming for, but I loved that it could be taken in such a way.
The repetition at the end finished off this story perfectly, and it brought back what had been previously said, which made myself think about what happened, and what could happen, even more.
This is simply amazing, dear. Perfect. (:

One Shot For One Shot.

Wow, that was really amazing. I loved the wonderful description and the imagery was just beautiful. I also liked how you didn't tell whether the speaker was a boy or girl because that added mystery to everything. You could picture things two ways with two different endings. To me, it gave off the feeling that the girl was being slightly overused, when you mentioned "I shall let her kiss down my neck and turn her on her back soon and do what I want to her, because in these moments I can't love her as a perfect human being, but as a lover and nothing more." And that was quite brilliant.

I adore your writing style.

One shot for a One Shot

First off, I love how simple the layout is and I love how with this word-spill, there’s not a long summary – I’m a firm believer that word-spills shouldn’t have long summaries.

I love how poetic this piece is. It’s really beautifully written and is an amazing read.
What I love the most about this is how the character is questioning him/herself to whether or not he/she is in love with the other character or not. It’s really cute and beautiful.

My favourite lines have to be:

Yes, my dear.

I am shaking.

Because it just ends this piece on such a happy, sweet note.
Reading this makes me think of my boyfriend of nearly two months if I’m honest... (:

One Shot for One Shot

A very curious piece to read. I love how you made it from a male's point of view. We don't have a lot of female writers that can actually write that way and make it believable. This was.

It's great how you bring a boy's views into mind in this one-shot.

It had me thinking.

It had me wondering.

Great job.

Mibba Wishes!

I found the summary on this piece extremely interesting. There were only a few, sparse words but they immediately intrigued me. I agree mostly with what everyone else has already commented, you have a unique and creative style that I can honestly admit, I've never seen on Mibba before. I can't really explain it but your phrasing seems to have a hint of a more traditional tone from earlier literature.

Lie, and have her leave me, or tell her -- yes, Love, you have me shaking -- and let myself fall to her mercy? The second paragraph had me reeling. I could just sense the conflict going on between those two characters. I guess it's not really conflict in its traditional sense, but rather a battle of wills with gaining the 'upper hand' and being dominant over the other as a first priority. I've found a lot of stories on Mibba seem to just be about saying 'I love you' to each other and getting it on. There are more delicate and more detailed emotions and feelings present in a relationship and I felt you really got that across beautifully.

A perfect woman asks me to love her, and my first instinct is to decline. This was a great sentence and it really reinforced what I just said in the previous paragraph. Your characters aren't assembly-line like so many writers make the mistake of creating. Your characters actually seem real. They have motives. They have insecurities. There are reasons behind how they act and that's why I'm falling in love with them. They're real!

I enjoyed the way you 'implied' the actions rather than explicitly stating everything the reader should know. I like being able to figure things out for myself. Getting rapport with the reader is a very difficult thing to achieve, making them feeling how you want them to feel, making them sympathize with the correct character etc. It's something I have difficulty with myself and you pulled it off without a hitch.

That last paragraph was simply breathtaking. I loved it and wrote it down on the cover of my notebook. I can't love her as a perfect human being, but as a lover and nothing more. That was just beautiful.

I've probably spammed you enough now. Thank you for writing this. I thoroughly enjoyed it and definitely plan on checking out your other work. I'll definitely be back.

Merry Christmas.

This is absolutely incredible. Your writing style is so unique and creative; it leaves a lot for the reader to figure out on their own, but in a good way. So much detail is put into so few words. I really, really adored it :)

The layout is very plain, I don't like it much.

A tale as old as time., this made me want to start singing Beauty and the Beast.

smiles like a demon, I admit that made me laugh.

I liked it a lot. It was hot and sexual and very wonderfully written.
It was great with the length, and there was nothing that needed to be there and nothing that didn't.
Great job.

Wow.

As previously said, there is so much beautiful detail in less than 300 words. The prose is amazing, and I love the conflicting thought processes.

I've never honestly been able to read a sex scene written so delicatley and thoughtfully as this before - I love the description, and the little amount of dialouge really work.

And the chapter title in french is also very clever - to me french and poetry are the languages of love :)

I could honestly find very, very little to critisize. My only point is that the last two ending lines both seem a little disjointed from the rest of the story. Maybe if you cobined them to one line, sepreated either as two sentences or by a dash, it may keep the lovely flow going until the very end.

Well done! I really, really liked this!

Not only am I going to call you and ask, but I'll probably ask you the next time I see you, hahaha.
Thanks. :D Though thinking about it I don't really like it, but I didn't want to change anything.

...wow.WOW.
Not in a "omg sex" wow, just WOW.
It was short, but oh so well written. I honestly love your writing.
In so little wording, there is so much detail, and so much for the mind to picture. (not like that >_>)
but i really,really,really, liked it.
and don't call me tonight and say "Did you really like it?!" cuz' i'll shoot you. I just said I did. a few times. really x3 okay? ok. XD