Hey Amy, I'm really sorry I haven't managed to do your review before now. I've attempted to do this a few times but they've always come out really shitty so I've bided my time. And right now I have a 40-minute free and no work to do within this time so I'm gonna see if I can completely blitz this review whilst I have the time. XD
I especially liked the way you opened it. We're not quite keyed into what has happened straight away, and I like how relaxed it all seemed. Was a bit like the "calm before the storm". And I don’t mean that things exploded or anything later, but this is the part when Matt is blissfully unaware that he's somehow turned into a cat. When I first read this, I got the impression that he was a bit drunk, and had passed out on the pavement on the previous night in a drunken haze. And when he mentioned he was outside Sephy's house, that confirmed it a little to me - since it was implied that they've perhaps had a falling out - I couldn't just sit on the pavement and wait for a miracle to happen, or an argument, whichever way it decided to go. - Matt seems to be contemplating what her reaction will be when she sees him.
I really liked this line. I had felt the scorching rays of countless foreign cities, but none of those held the same warmth as one sun ray in Bridgend. He's been abroad to so many places and has lost track of the amount of places he's been to. I have no doubt that these foreign cities were probably a lot warmer and sunnier than Bridgend, but I like how the rays warmed him most here because it goes hand-in-hand with the saying "there's no place like home". Matt loves his hometown and just being there warms him, which is sweet.
I'd call up my friends, or maybe even my parents. We'll go to the park, or go sit outside a pub, or just street prowl. SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS! My apologies, I couldn't resist. I love how you write Matt, by the way. He's all fluffy and adorable. XD He seems very friends and family-oriented which is just so nice to read. He comes across as a person who puts others before himself and cares a lot about the people that are close to him.
Matt seems to be completely in-tune with Sephy. They held a certain weight in them that I could identify too well, one foot distinctly hitting harder than the other from where she carried her bag on her right side. It's kind of amazing how he could tell that it was Sephy just from the sound of her footsteps. It's obvious she means a lot to him and by this stage I was wondering what the story would be between them, and what had happened for Matt to expect an argument with her upon his return.
I think this is the moment when Matt realises that something is up. I was surprised, then, when an almost cheeky smile crossed her lips as she looked down at me with her hands on her hips. I didn't understand, but still tried to smile back. He's surprised and doesn't understand which is when I wondered what he'd done in the past, because he's obviously hurt her in some way to expect confrontation upon setting eyes on one another again.
It's good how you didn't just launch into OMFG MATT IS A CAT and you took your time, making the reader guess. I couldn't work my vocal chords at all. I didn't understand; my legs dragged me all this way just to stare at my old friend so blankly? I am also enjoying how you're writing Matt's sheer confusion. He still has no clue what is going on and wants to smile warmly at Sephy, and doesn't know what's stopping him from doing so.
And still Matt is guessing. The next moment was one of the most surreal of my life. As any male of 6ft or taller will tell you, being picked up is not an experience you are familiar with, but that's exactly what happened. I liked the word "surreal" especially, I think it describes the entire experience extremely well, what with Matt's complete and utter confusion, and the fact that his friend had been towering over him and had picked him up has just completely baffled him. He's just questioning everything. And this is the only explanation that he can give - I was dreaming. I was dreaming that I was tiny and that Sephy was carrying me around. That's what it was. He doesn't know what else to think or believe.
This was absolutely perfect. A tortoiseshell cat with wide eyes, fur bristling and ears pressing themselves back against its skull. This was an amazing way of describing what Matt was seeing in the mirror because he's suddenly confronted by the fact that he's a cat and is instantly scared out of his wits - and rightly so, because I'd be weirded out if I suddenly transformed into a cat, too! You've described the fear just right, too. He's just confused and worried, and I can just picture this perfectly.
This was really poetic! Everything looked slightly wrong, too; the colours were all drowned out though at the same time it seemed much sharper. Actually it made me think of a line from one of my favourite songs - like seeing colour for the first time - and I think that's why it struck a chord so much in my mind. The way you've described this was amazing and it's like we can actually see through Matt's eyes and can see what he can. Very clever, I enjoyed that.
The way you described the way he moved was very interesting. I like how Matt suddenly isn't completely co-ordinated and can go about his business as a cat without needing to adjust. He doesn't quite know how to walk - I would be lying if I said it wasn't awkward - and knows that this is something he will need to master - It would take practice, no doubt about that. He knows that he needs to try and blend in a bit more and act more like a cat (if that makes sense).
It was good how Sephy did notice a change in "Honey". "My, you're clumsy today, Honey," she cooed. It made the story more realistic and I think that's one of the things I adore about your writing - the fact that although you can write about something that cannot happen in real life (like Matt becoming a cat, or Hounds Of Night in general) and you just make it seem like it is actually happening. I think that's one of the reasons why I love your writing so much, I love it when things just come across as being so real and it's easier to get into the story, rather than when you read a story and you know it's just a story.
One thing I did note, however, was the fact that you didn't really make it clear about how long Matt had been a cat for. There was no turning back, now, I was certain of it. Was this later that day, or was it a few weeks? This just confused me a little bit. I mean, it didn't affect the story as a whole but I would have liked to see whether it had been something permanent or whether it was a 24-hour type thing. :think:
I did like how Matt found the positives in his situation, rather than being all "doom and gloomish". This way, at the very least, I got to watch over my friend again. I got to make sure she was always happy, and safe, and had someone there for her. I could be that person, that's what I wanted in the first place, wasn't it? Apologies for quoting so much. But I thought it was worthwhile to quote it all because I really liked Matt's optimism here. He wants to be there for Sephy and maybe he hasn't been in the past, so he wants to make it up to her - even if she'll never know that it's him. All he wants is for her to be happy and he wants to be a part of her life, so he feels like he can settle for this. There are a lot of questions in my head about the situation between Matt and Sephy in Reverie so I'm looking forward to seeing how that story is going to pan out. (:
Oh my god I love how you described the "sixth sense" that animals seem to have. I wasn’t enjoying this cat sense quite so much. It's as if Matt is literally feeling Sephy's pain and it's just filled his body with a sensation that makes him upset and want to comfort her, but there's nothing that he can do. And it's kind of heartbreaking to read. Matt knows that Toby has upset her and he's helpless towards her. He can only sit there and that little section kind of made me want to cry a little bit. :(
The way you described Matt's change back to human was very interesting. I like how he didn't know that it had happened until Sephy spoke his name and he opened his eyes to see slightly tanned skin, tangled in bed sheets, but none the less leaving [him] feeling extremely exposed. Aside from the :yah-worthy image that is now in my head (XDDDD) I thought the way that you described Matt as looking at his body was interesting. He's taking it all in and is probably wondering whether he'd all just imagined it and that the fact that he'd been a cat was all in his head. Which was an interesting view to take!
I loved how the ending was very open to interpretation. I got to my feet, covered the floor in two strides, and kissed her with everything I had to offer. I liked how we weren't given Sephy's reaction, and that the reader is able to make their mind up about what happens next.
This was a really cleverly written story, and thank you for entering the contest! I'll get your second review done soon, I promise. I'll review the second-placed entry and then will come back to you and review another of your stories. :arms: :)
I especially liked the way you opened it. We're not quite keyed into what has happened straight away, and I like how relaxed it all seemed. Was a bit like the "calm before the storm". And I don’t mean that things exploded or anything later, but this is the part when Matt is blissfully unaware that he's somehow turned into a cat. When I first read this, I got the impression that he was a bit drunk, and had passed out on the pavement on the previous night in a drunken haze. And when he mentioned he was outside Sephy's house, that confirmed it a little to me - since it was implied that they've perhaps had a falling out - I couldn't just sit on the pavement and wait for a miracle to happen, or an argument, whichever way it decided to go. - Matt seems to be contemplating what her reaction will be when she sees him.
I really liked this line. I had felt the scorching rays of countless foreign cities, but none of those held the same warmth as one sun ray in Bridgend. He's been abroad to so many places and has lost track of the amount of places he's been to. I have no doubt that these foreign cities were probably a lot warmer and sunnier than Bridgend, but I like how the rays warmed him most here because it goes hand-in-hand with the saying "there's no place like home". Matt loves his hometown and just being there warms him, which is sweet.
I'd call up my friends, or maybe even my parents. We'll go to the park, or go sit outside a pub, or just street prowl. SEXUAL TYRANNOSAURUS! My apologies, I couldn't resist. I love how you write Matt, by the way. He's all fluffy and adorable. XD He seems very friends and family-oriented which is just so nice to read. He comes across as a person who puts others before himself and cares a lot about the people that are close to him.
Matt seems to be completely in-tune with Sephy. They held a certain weight in them that I could identify too well, one foot distinctly hitting harder than the other from where she carried her bag on her right side. It's kind of amazing how he could tell that it was Sephy just from the sound of her footsteps. It's obvious she means a lot to him and by this stage I was wondering what the story would be between them, and what had happened for Matt to expect an argument with her upon his return.
I think this is the moment when Matt realises that something is up. I was surprised, then, when an almost cheeky smile crossed her lips as she looked down at me with her hands on her hips. I didn't understand, but still tried to smile back. He's surprised and doesn't understand which is when I wondered what he'd done in the past, because he's obviously hurt her in some way to expect confrontation upon setting eyes on one another again.
It's good how you didn't just launch into OMFG MATT IS A CAT and you took your time, making the reader guess. I couldn't work my vocal chords at all. I didn't understand; my legs dragged me all this way just to stare at my old friend so blankly? I am also enjoying how you're writing Matt's sheer confusion. He still has no clue what is going on and wants to smile warmly at Sephy, and doesn't know what's stopping him from doing so.
And still Matt is guessing. The next moment was one of the most surreal of my life. As any male of 6ft or taller will tell you, being picked up is not an experience you are familiar with, but that's exactly what happened. I liked the word "surreal" especially, I think it describes the entire experience extremely well, what with Matt's complete and utter confusion, and the fact that his friend had been towering over him and had picked him up has just completely baffled him. He's just questioning everything. And this is the only explanation that he can give - I was dreaming. I was dreaming that I was tiny and that Sephy was carrying me around. That's what it was. He doesn't know what else to think or believe.
This was absolutely perfect. A tortoiseshell cat with wide eyes, fur bristling and ears pressing themselves back against its skull. This was an amazing way of describing what Matt was seeing in the mirror because he's suddenly confronted by the fact that he's a cat and is instantly scared out of his wits - and rightly so, because I'd be weirded out if I suddenly transformed into a cat, too! You've described the fear just right, too. He's just confused and worried, and I can just picture this perfectly.
This was really poetic! Everything looked slightly wrong, too; the colours were all drowned out though at the same time it seemed much sharper. Actually it made me think of a line from one of my favourite songs - like seeing colour for the first time - and I think that's why it struck a chord so much in my mind. The way you've described this was amazing and it's like we can actually see through Matt's eyes and can see what he can. Very clever, I enjoyed that.
The way you described the way he moved was very interesting. I like how Matt suddenly isn't completely co-ordinated and can go about his business as a cat without needing to adjust. He doesn't quite know how to walk - I would be lying if I said it wasn't awkward - and knows that this is something he will need to master - It would take practice, no doubt about that. He knows that he needs to try and blend in a bit more and act more like a cat (if that makes sense).
It was good how Sephy did notice a change in "Honey". "My, you're clumsy today, Honey," she cooed. It made the story more realistic and I think that's one of the things I adore about your writing - the fact that although you can write about something that cannot happen in real life (like Matt becoming a cat, or Hounds Of Night in general) and you just make it seem like it is actually happening. I think that's one of the reasons why I love your writing so much, I love it when things just come across as being so real and it's easier to get into the story, rather than when you read a story and you know it's just a story.
One thing I did note, however, was the fact that you didn't really make it clear about how long Matt had been a cat for. There was no turning back, now, I was certain of it. Was this later that day, or was it a few weeks? This just confused me a little bit. I mean, it didn't affect the story as a whole but I would have liked to see whether it had been something permanent or whether it was a 24-hour type thing. :think:
I did like how Matt found the positives in his situation, rather than being all "doom and gloomish". This way, at the very least, I got to watch over my friend again. I got to make sure she was always happy, and safe, and had someone there for her. I could be that person, that's what I wanted in the first place, wasn't it? Apologies for quoting so much. But I thought it was worthwhile to quote it all because I really liked Matt's optimism here. He wants to be there for Sephy and maybe he hasn't been in the past, so he wants to make it up to her - even if she'll never know that it's him. All he wants is for her to be happy and he wants to be a part of her life, so he feels like he can settle for this. There are a lot of questions in my head about the situation between Matt and Sephy in Reverie so I'm looking forward to seeing how that story is going to pan out. (:
Oh my god I love how you described the "sixth sense" that animals seem to have. I wasn’t enjoying this cat sense quite so much. It's as if Matt is literally feeling Sephy's pain and it's just filled his body with a sensation that makes him upset and want to comfort her, but there's nothing that he can do. And it's kind of heartbreaking to read. Matt knows that Toby has upset her and he's helpless towards her. He can only sit there and that little section kind of made me want to cry a little bit. :(
The way you described Matt's change back to human was very interesting. I like how he didn't know that it had happened until Sephy spoke his name and he opened his eyes to see slightly tanned skin, tangled in bed sheets, but none the less leaving [him] feeling extremely exposed. Aside from the :yah-worthy image that is now in my head (XDDDD) I thought the way that you described Matt as looking at his body was interesting. He's taking it all in and is probably wondering whether he'd all just imagined it and that the fact that he'd been a cat was all in his head. Which was an interesting view to take!
I loved how the ending was very open to interpretation. I got to my feet, covered the floor in two strides, and kissed her with everything I had to offer. I liked how we weren't given Sephy's reaction, and that the reader is able to make their mind up about what happens next.
This was a really cleverly written story, and thank you for entering the contest! I'll get your second review done soon, I promise. I'll review the second-placed entry and then will come back to you and review another of your stories. :arms: :)