The background to the story area is really bright, I think black or white would have been a better choice than the bright green you chose for that. I didn’t even try to read the story with that story area background; it was just much too bright for my liking.
I liked how you started out the story with a flashback; it gave some background information on the girl. And I really like how you did that. It was very well done. I didn’t like how she came straight out to her brother and said that, it just doesn’t seem like something with this disorder would do.
I liked the touch of creepiness you added to this story though with her digging the glass into her eyes. I wasn’t expecting that in the story and it was a nice twist on the story. The story was really good, well done on it. I couldn't find any errors in the story and that is very good. Well done.
I liked how you started out the story with a flashback; it gave some background information on the girl. And I really like how you did that. It was very well done. I didn’t like how she came straight out to her brother and said that, it just doesn’t seem like something with this disorder would do.
I liked the touch of creepiness you added to this story though with her digging the glass into her eyes. I wasn’t expecting that in the story and it was a nice twist on the story. The story was really good, well done on it. I couldn't find any errors in the story and that is very good. Well done.