For Fear of the Outcome - Comments

One shot for one shot
I agree with lonna for the layout colors.
It's difficult to read.

The majority of this story was quite good. Like said above me a few comments the ending could've been more definite, but it was good. I felt like the ending was kind of...blah. Like oh! it's over now, kay bye. You know what I mean?

But otherwise goodjob.

I liked this though it scared me for a second since I'd just commented on one of yours with the same banner.
Anyways, I liked it but just like the other it was sad.
I think I prefered the other though, but this was pretty good too.

Story/Review Game;

First off, I personally don't like the layout colors you picked for this. The banner is nice, but maybe change the colors to something else that compliment the story itself.

"At least, that’s how it was supposed to be. But it wasn’t going to be, not forever and not for always."- I've read everything up until this line, and it took me by surprise because everything seemed so perfect, and I didn't want it to end. I felt the bond these two couples ha(d)ve was realistic and it kept me intrigued to know what was going on. It was sweet and romantic for a guy to notice the irrelevant things in a female. It honestly made me heart melt, and I felt something between them, but like all good things they must end.

"But as Braeden watched Kennedy’s retreating back, he realized that he should’ve told her then, he knew it would make her stay."- The sentence that follows after this one is displaced and it seemed there should be a space after it. Also, I noticed that you do that a lot. The paragraphs looks very off and it kind of disturbs the flow of the story. It makes the wording look jumble, and you do have some grammar issues in this chapter as well.

Braeden character is so easy going that is sometimes irks me as to why he would like a girl like that. She's so crazy and wild and I guess opposite do attract. Besides those little mistakes I thought this was different. I didn't understand it from the beginning all the way to the end, but I liked it. I liked the mysterious of the characters and they love they have.

Keep writing.

Okay, first off you can bitch slap me for taking so long! I’m really sorry, but I’ve been SO busy and my computer decided that it didn’t like me and the internet was down for two weeks. But anyways,

“When it was the two of them alone in her car, when he fiddled with the radio and she drove with her knees, trying to light a cigarette.”

Best line. I can imagine a look of horror on his face while she paying attention to everything except driving. I like that it was a bittersweet ending. I feel like a lot of writers feel like they have to make love stories have happy endings.

It’s a typical idea, but I liked it, especially how it opened with all the things he loved about her.

I love your banner, but you could have given it a more definate ending instead of just saying the things that he loved about her and how he was sad. Don't get me wrong though, I liked it =)