Dance With The Devil - Comments

Secound to last: Suprise. She has become a whore. 0_0

Overall: It is a very good and cute story. I love how it`s comparing how it is and how it could be. This story is more then just a good read. It could stop someone from trying and getting addicted to stuff.

Third to last: This story is full of many surprises. I wasn't expecting for her to be clean.

Chapter five: It starts to explain the situation well. It tells us she is a drug-addict. But then it tells us it isnt her choose. Which makes us want to read more.

Paragraph 2 3 and 4: You have really great descriptions of the girl. Many people tend to not describe the characters.

For some reason I want to comment per paragraph. So hello!
Paragraph one: It`s a very good start to a story, it grabs out attention. I love the repetition, the maybes.

wow. i like it as a oneshot. i mean, i could see it as a story, but it's simplistic in the best way. it's beautiful and realistic.

Are you going to update this? Or are you still writing? Or are you having writer's block?

Sweet!
I'm already loving it can't wait for more :)

Ok, first of all, I LOVE your banner. It's so pretty

I also love the simplicity of your summary. It's not lazy, and it grabs my attention.

I can't say that I've ever read a Papa Roach fic, but I do enjoy their music.

After reading the first chapter, all I have to say is

The imagery and your descriptions of Astrid are friggin' ah-maz-ing!

Usually I wouldn't sympathize with a character like Astrid just because I am diehard against drug use because of my childhood, but you've really made me feel connected to her. You should be really proud of your work.

The only thing I found wrong with it was in the first paragraph, "Maybe if her chin weren't so long, maybe if her nose weren't so pointed.," I'm pretty sure you're supposed to use "wasn't," but I could be wrong there.

Sorry that I don't have much con-crit. I tried, but I couldn't really come up with anything.

I really liked the intro. I have to admit that when I saw you age, first I edited my post and added the Rate for my story, and then just thought to read your story and am very impressed with your writing.

You gave me a full image of her and not as to how she looks on the outside but on the inside as well.

Am curius on whether this story is about her struggle to keep her life in line and be better or how she got into this; I have to say that am more keen on the first idea:p

:)

Wow. The opening of this story is just. Wow.

I'm a big Papa Roach fan but I couldn't tell you their names because what I know best is their music but, wow. I really can't wait to read more of this - I've never read a Papa Roach fan fiction that I've liked the thought of before but this one, yeah, I like this one.

The way you describe this girl reminds me of the main female character of Pay It Forward which ironically, has her son listening to Last Resort in. She's not as young as the girl and only drinks heavily but yeah, they sound the same which is amazing - I don't know if you've seen the movie but you really should be it's amazing...

She calls herself Astrid, and she dances with the devil.

That line is just an amazing end to the first chapter - you should be really proud of this.

It's extremely well written and is really interesting.
I can't wait for more, honestly.

I can't wait for more!