Hey, so it's Christmas and I figured that I should leave this a review! Since this is a Christmassy story. :D Sorry about the wait! I have two hours before the end of Christmas, let's do this! XD
I like how you opened it with dialogue, it's like the reader has entered the story mid-way through the conversation and it just made the story flow a little bit better. And the description of him shimmying out of his jacket was really cute. It's like he's really looking forward to the party and he's in a really good mood. It's almost as if he's dancing. XD
Loved the cockiness in this line. Well, he didn’t have any sandals, for goodness sake. He was a rock star and this was the most white he’d worn in one sitting. Nah, Die's keeping all the sandals for himself! :3 I love how cocky you always write Kaoru, he's funny without meaning to be. His humour is just so dry and half of the time I don't think he realises that he's doing it. And I like how he just narrates stuff in his head.
He's so matter-of-fact, too! “You have a tea towel on your head.” He just seems to be a very tactless person but at the same time he's not afraid to speak out; he'll say exactly what he thinks, rather than hiding the truth, which is a good quality to have. What you see is what you get with Kaoru.
LOVE HIS CYNICISM HERE. “He’s here?” The guitarist raised an eyebrow at the man behind him, ignoring Shinya’s outburst of squeals and hand clapping. He snorted at the nod he received in response, shaking his head. “How the hell did he get here before me? He’s never on time for anything.” Kaoru's almost disbelieving, and it's like he doesn't want to believe that his partner, who is late for everything, has managed to get there before him. And I don't think that Shinya's excitedness is amusing him. XD
Oh Die! But, there was only one lobster. I loved how his intro was just so simple. As soon as I read that, I knew what was coming up. XD Love it.
I thought this was a nice touch. This lobster had huge, deep brown eyes that were a little unfocused It was good how you described him being drunk, it wasn't explicitly stated; just done really subtly. Often, I think this is a much better approach to have with a story, it's nice as a reader not to be spoon-fed stuff and to work stuff out for yourself, so nice job here. :)
It was amusing how Die is just completely into this! Do you know how hard it was to find a lobster costume? He's just completely oblivious to everybody's confusion about why he was a lobster, and is just eager to tell Kaoru about his costume and what he went through to get it, which is absolutely adorable!
Just...:lmfao Die, ignore that film. There were no lobsters present at the birth of Jesus. Like I said earlier, Kaoru is just so matter-of-fact! I also want to see this film... Kaoru seems to like nothing but ruin his fun! D: And I like how they seem to know each other inside out - what with Die guessing that the brunette wouldn’t give in easily and he was probably willing to argue about this all night - this makes their relationship seem a lot stronger because although they have disagreements over certain things, they know the other really well, and know how their partner would act in certain situations.
Kyo as a snowflake was so cute! Even if he as a character wasn't! Kyo waved his hand in a dismissive manner and continued drifting towards the door. “Ask me your bullshit afterwards, okay?” I liked how he "drifted", it's like he really was moving like a snowflake which is really cute. And I liked how it was assumed that Kyo wasn't really all that impressed with Die's outfit, what with him "not having time for his bullshit". :tehe:
The ending was amazing. AMBIGUOUS, what with them both saying their partner was too dirty/sexy to be dressed as an angel/lobster! ~~ I definitely can imagine them barging past Kyo into the toilet and ditching their costumes. :tehe:
I LOVE THIS STORY, ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS STORIES! :D
December 26th, 2009 at 12:20am
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I like how you opened it with dialogue, it's like the reader has entered the story mid-way through the conversation and it just made the story flow a little bit better. And the description of him shimmying out of his jacket was really cute. It's like he's really looking forward to the party and he's in a really good mood. It's almost as if he's dancing. XD
Loved the cockiness in this line. Well, he didn’t have any sandals, for goodness sake. He was a rock star and this was the most white he’d worn in one sitting. Nah, Die's keeping all the sandals for himself! :3 I love how cocky you always write Kaoru, he's funny without meaning to be. His humour is just so dry and half of the time I don't think he realises that he's doing it. And I like how he just narrates stuff in his head.
He's so matter-of-fact, too! “You have a tea towel on your head.” He just seems to be a very tactless person but at the same time he's not afraid to speak out; he'll say exactly what he thinks, rather than hiding the truth, which is a good quality to have. What you see is what you get with Kaoru.
LOVE HIS CYNICISM HERE. “He’s here?” The guitarist raised an eyebrow at the man behind him, ignoring Shinya’s outburst of squeals and hand clapping. He snorted at the nod he received in response, shaking his head. “How the hell did he get here before me? He’s never on time for anything.” Kaoru's almost disbelieving, and it's like he doesn't want to believe that his partner, who is late for everything, has managed to get there before him. And I don't think that Shinya's excitedness is amusing him. XD
Oh Die!
I thought this was a nice touch. This lobster had huge, deep brown eyes that were a little unfocused It was good how you described him being drunk, it wasn't explicitly stated; just done really subtly. Often, I think this is a much better approach to have with a story, it's nice as a reader not to be spoon-fed stuff and to work stuff out for yourself, so nice job here. :)
It was amusing how Die is just completely into this! Do you know how hard it was to find a lobster costume? He's just completely oblivious to everybody's confusion about why he was a lobster, and is just eager to tell Kaoru about his costume and what he went through to get it, which is absolutely adorable!
Just...:lmfao Die, ignore that film. There were no lobsters present at the birth of Jesus. Like I said earlier, Kaoru is just so matter-of-fact! I also want to see this film...
Kyo as a snowflake was so cute! Even if he as a character wasn't! Kyo waved his hand in a dismissive manner and continued drifting towards the door. “Ask me your bullshit afterwards, okay?” I liked how he "drifted", it's like he really was moving like a snowflake which is really cute. And I liked how it was assumed that Kyo wasn't really all that impressed with Die's outfit, what with him "not having time for his bullshit". :tehe:
The ending was amazing. AMBIGUOUS, what with them both saying their partner was too dirty/sexy to be dressed as an angel/lobster! ~~ I definitely can imagine them barging past Kyo into the toilet and ditching their costumes. :tehe:
I LOVE THIS STORY, ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS STORIES! :D