January 18th, 2010 at 04:35am
The characters seemed innocent, in a cute way.
Kind of like the curiosity in a child, if that doesn't sound weird.
I really liked how you used a lot of imagery, such as going as far as to describe the gravel crunching and the static of the radio. Imagery is a good element in writing :) and after this, I think you should certainly think about things other than contests, because I bet a lot of people would read them :)
It was sort of confusing. Maybe I missed something, but why are these boys fighting over her? Where do they want her to go? And, how old are they? I didn't understand any of those things.
There were quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes, but everyone does that. That just takes some proof reading.
Over all, very interesting story! It was fun to read, and a very interesting concept. Thanks for entering it! :)