o.O anneliese- that's awesome- i love this story- so you DEFINATELY need to update soon- oh- and i liked the austrailian carpark touch you put in there. nicely done <3
I love the fact that she seems so cold towards him and isn't fawning over him because he's famous. It makes a nice change.
Tre took another deep breath, an unusual sense of numbness washing over every inch of his stocky body.
I loved that line. I really got a sense of how nervous Tre was, yet still how determined he was to ask her out. It was sweet.
Your descriptions are amazing as usual. And you manage to fit details about the characters into the story smoothly.
She didn't turn to look at him - instead, her stormy grey eyes remained determinedly set on the people in front of her while her slim arms clutched the clipboard she was holding close to her chest.
Like with that sentence, you described how cold Lindsay seemed, but you also described her appearance at the same time. It flowed nicely and it didn't feel as though you were forcing in character details. They just fit.
Tre was very forward at the end, :tehe: and I liked that. It really conveyed how much he likes Lindsay and also his confusion at her attitude.
Awe! This story pwns! you are insanely good at describing..:| I loved the update ;D
This girl confuses me. Yet I love this...it's so...un-cliche. :XD I'm so entriged to find out more. I really do hope you update soon.
Keep in mind that people don't know how to decifer between a well-written story and a frerard. but if it were up to the writing, you would pwn all the frerards with your green day fics ;)
I love this chapter. I love your style of writing. I love the beautiful descriptions that you give. I love your wonderful characterisations. I love the fact that you include small details about the characters, but they're so precise that I can't fail but to fall head-over-heels in love with them. I just love this story in general.
I've never read any of your stories before, but I needed a quick fanfiction fix, and this gave me all that and more. The way you describe is phenomenal as others have mentioned above, but also the way you focus on little details and not just Tre meeting some girl. Fantastic.
Wow. I am insanely jealous of your writing skills. You really are an absolutely amah-zing writer. Your descriptions are wonderful. They're really, really beautiful. Gah, i'm sorry I can't leave a good comment. >.< My mind's gone blank with your awesome-ness. :hug:
Great description. I especially liked "The odd café had owners tiredly opening up early, scraping signs and tables out onto the sidewalk."
I think the use of the word 'scraping' really set the scene; I could just picture the tired looking owners of the cafes moving with no energy, and I thought it worked really well.
"It was with the thought of Mike's reaction if he were late that Tre forced himself out of his warm cave and into fresh clothes."
I loved that line, because I got the funniest mental image of Mike throwing a tantrum, and again, you're subtle with your words and don't spell everything out. I like that element of your writing.
"With every beat of the drum he could feel himself relaxing into a state of satisfaction - this was where he belonged: right behind his two best friends, making fast, angry music."
That bit was really sweet and you captured Tre's passion for music beautifully. I got the sense of how much Green Day means to him.
I'm interested to see how Tre's going to approach the girl.
Wow, why in the hell have I never read any of your stories before? You have such a way with description. I could just picture the events unfolding in my mind; you described everything perfectly.
Chapter 1:
Loved the introduction to the location; the image built up in my mind and it was as if I was there, watching everthing happen. Also, for some strange reason, I liked how you used the word "offspring" instead of children.
“Billie, for the love of sweet, holy Jesus, will you let me get a fucking coffee?” The whining tones of Tre Cool contrasted with the constant dull rattle of rain upon steel. His voice appeared strained. “My throat is killing me!”
That bit made me laugh. I could completely get the sense of how tired and agitated the three of them were, which made it even funnier when Billie yelled at Tre for dropping his coffee.
“Let’s see… an orange mocha frappucino for yours truly, a double shot flat white for our coffee addict pal, Mikerella, and a double latte for Your Highness.” He paused, hoping to provoke Billie with his overly-snide manner. “I think that’s all, don’t you? Here’s hoping I don’t tragically - slip - on the way.”
You developed their personalities and relationships well; what with the nicknames and the fact that he already knew their orders.
The meeting of Tre and the girl was well done; I liked that it was just a brief meeting and didn't involve any "Hi, I'm Tre" and "Hi, I'm so and so." It made it seem realistic, and Tre's reaction to her appearance was just adorable.
Chapter 2:
As Billie's car did a quick u-turn away from his gate, it was with a heavy heart that the drummer made his way down the gravelled driveway toward his needlessly large house. The house that could accomodate so many people, but only housed one. A lonely rockstar, divorced twice and a father of two, living all alone. So oten he helped write songs about lost love - but he had honestly felt the feeling for too long.
That made me able to really connect with Tre and feel sad for him. I loved how you compared the vast nature of the house with the number of occupants. It just made it all the more heartbreaking.
You really delved well into Tre's thoughts and his views on how it's expected of rock stars to drink/sleep around/do drugs.
Overall, I loved it. Really, I can't think of anything negative.
Yayyy! It's been a long while since someone wrote a good green day fanfic =] I <3 it! Write more *poke* *poke* *poke* Really good use of describing. Poor Tre.
Yayyy! It's been a long while since someone wrote a good green day fanfic =] I <3 it! Write more *poke* *poke* *poke* Really good use of describing. Poor Tre.